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Jan 3, 2009

In the Eyes of a Child

While I usually reserve this page for something funny or a current vent, there are just times when other things have to be said.



Due to medical issues, I had to have a hysterectomy over the summer. This was a shock to me, as I have had a baby almost every year since the first was born, and figured I would go on doing that. It was a very hard time, and it took awhile for me to come to terms with it.



The hardest part of that time was when my oldest (a long-time baby fan) asked me what the surgery was for. I explained that mommies have a little balloon thing that holds the babies before they are born, and that I had to have it removed. Simple, right? He did not like this at all. He immediately understood that we would have no more babies. He wanted another little brother. We had a Big Talk, I told him that we could possibly adopt if that was something that God wanted for us, and that, even without the surgery, I wouldn't have been able to carry a baby.(This was something of a stretch, because we weren't sure of that, but I didn't want to have to explain pregnancy loss again, as he had a hard time with my last miscarriage.)



So, the surgery went on, and went well. I didn't get to see a lot of the kids, because they spent a lot of time with family during my recovery. A few weeks later, I noticed that he still seemed upset when anyone mentioned it. I tried to talk to him about being content with what we have, and how blessed we are already with so many brothers and sisters. This, however was not the problem.



"Mommy, what if there was a baby in there when they did the surgery? Would it die?" This hit me like a ton of bricks. I told him that there wasn't, but he wouldn't take my word for it. "What if there was, though? Did they check? What if the baby was still so tiny that you couldn't see it? Like, if it was this big?" (holding his finger and thumb together) "Wouldn't it die? How can they be for sure?" I don't have to tell you all of the things I said, but I did finally convince him that there was no baby there, and that the doctors can tell these things.

My point is this. My son (age seven at that point) asked about a potential baby that was so small you couldn't see it. Would this tiny life, no bigger than a speck of dust, survive this surgery? He was worried about a tiny little brother or sister dying before we even knew it existed. I have never explained much more about pregnancy to my kids other than that the baby grows and then is born. How did he know how small a baby can be? How did he know that, even though nobody knew it was there, and nobody could see it, it would still be a person, a brother or sister, and still have a right to live? I have never told him any of these things, although I believe them with all my heart.

There are things that children know inherently. There are people they seem not to like. They know that mommy and daddy mean safety. They believe in God with no questions asked, because, to them, of course there is a God. Who else would have produced a world full of such wonder? And they know right from wrong. They push their limits, and get into trouble, but kids know right from wrong. They know that murder is wrong. They know that stealing is wrong. They know that disobedience, anger and hatred are wrong. And they know that a child, so tiny that you can't see it, living in his mother's womb, is a child. They know that a baby has a right to live from the first day of conception.

Pro-life or pro-abortion, answer this: When was the first time that the reality of abortion was explained to you? What did you think? What did you feel? Were you horrified, sickened, grieved? Or did you accept the explanation that a child is a blob of tissue until it takes it's first breath? How old were you? If you were a child, still fresh from the loving arms of God, did you wonder about your own conception? Did you wonder if you had ever been in danger from the knife of an abortionist? Did you reject the entire notion and think that no mother would ever kill her child? If you were an adult, did you try to see yourself in this situation? Did you wonder if you would/could ever submit yourself or a loved one to this "procedure"? How many people, when first faced with this issue, accept it, support it, love the idea? My guess is very few. You see, people have instincts, too, we just ignore them sometimes. Abortion goes against our most basic human need -- survival. And it goes against every human desire -- safety in our mother's arms, freedom, life, happiness, acceptance, love.

My seven year old could not put this into words at his age, and thankfully hasn't been exposed to this horror, but he knows it is true just the same. People are born with certain things written on their hearts and in their minds. We know that abortion is wrong, just as sure as we know that any murder is wrong. Some ignore this truth until they forget it, but they knew it once. Yes, I believe that abortion is a sin, that is it against God's Will. I believe that God is grieved over this most awful of human errors. I don't make light of that side of this issue. My point is this: Whether or not you believe in God, whether or not you are religious, if you have a conscience, you know -- or did know -- that abortion is evil, no matter the reason.