Me: doopty doo...la la la...lawn mowin' time
Lawn Mower: Nah.
Me: C'mon...I'll grab us some beers, we circle the lawn a few time...it'll be fun!
Lawn Mower: Let's don't and say we did.
Me: Or...let's do and make the neighborhood wonder if new people moved in.
Lawn Mower: OR I could sit here in the shed while you go make me a sandwich, woman!
Me: Um, no. My house, my rules. We're mowing the lawn, Lawn Mower. :::puts gas in the tank::: (yes, I did, thanks for asking, little brother) :::pulls the lever-y type thing::: (yup, did that, also.) :::pulls the...uh...stringy thing::: (Ok, I don't know what it's called, but I know what I'm supposed to do with it)
Lawn Mower: Nooooooooo!!!
Me: :::repeats process, remembering to prime it first:::
Lawn Mower: Gah! I can't resist...one little taste of gasoline and I must guzzle more!!! :::springs to life (or whatever you call "starting"):::
Me: :::starts the iPod, opens a beer, mows about two square feet of grass:::
Lawn Mower: Annnd...nevermind. I quit. :::dies:::
Me: Dude! You shook up my beer. And the yard is very big and very tall. We have a lot of work to do.
Lawn Mower: Nah. I'm out, yo. Not so big on the whole "working" thing today. Hey, would you mind giving me a push back into the shed?
Me: No way, buddy, I'm gonna' get this grass cut. :::Googles "how to fix the damn lawn mower::: :::finds all the answers:::
Sky: :::gets dark:::
Me: Ok, Lawn Mower, I've got you now, my pretty. And your little dog, too! Wait, what? Anyway, I Googled your ass, so even though it's too dark to work on you now, I'll be all over you tomorrow. :::laughs maniacally:::
Lawn Mower: Maniacal laughter is so over, yo. It's all about the quiet owning now. Dork.
Me: Doesn't matter, you'll get owned tomorrow, just as soon as I find out what the hell an air filter is and where it might be located on your person. So HA!
Showing posts with label to do list. Show all posts
Showing posts with label to do list. Show all posts
Oct 15, 2010
Aug 11, 2010
Epic Shopping
Grocery shopping sucks.
I have been trying to get this budget under control for three months, and just this month, it all started to come together, but we hit a few snags. This resulted in trips to the grocery store about every other day, and never having the right foods in the house. You know when you have lots of hamburger meat, half a bag of tortillas and eight thousand popsicles, and you try to make a dinner out of it? Yeah, that's what it's been like.
So, today I decided to fix it. I planned a menu for two weeks. I hate doing that. Especially after I had to eat April's lunch today and I never want to see food again. (Not the lunch she made, but the lunch she couldn't eat, and didn't want to hurt the cook's feelings.) Ugh. So I made up some meals we might eat and we might not.
Then I added a bunch of random stuff to the list. This was mostly stuff that I remembered wishing I had in the house throughout the last few weeks, but I probably won't ever want it again. Like buffalo wings. I love wings, but I don't really eat them when they're around. But it's covered, just in case.
Then I went around the house and made sure we put everything on the list we might need in the next two weeks: toothpaste, laundry detergent, dog food....beer. (Ok, beer wasn't on the list, but I did regret this later.)
Then I loaded up the kids and went shopping. For three hours. This was our Epic Trip to Avoid Walmart for at Least Two Weeks.
I usually get a lot of looks when I take my kids shopping. Mostly, it's either other worn out moms with sympathetic smiles, or older couple who ask my kids if they have girlfriends and stuff. Today was the same until we got to filling the second cart. Then I started getting looks that were clearly judgemental. I think they said things like:
You're making an eight year old push that heavy cart?
Do you really need those cookies?
That's a lot of bread. (Someone actually said this to me once...I was like, hi, this is a lot of kids.)
Why is that second cart full of beer? (hahaha! Just kidding! But I still regretted this.)
THREE HOURS LATER, I was ready to check out. The checker started crying when we started unloading the second cart. My kids, who had been very good up to this point, started asking for every single impulse item near the register, and trying to hop on the moving carts of everyone walking by. I was flustered and yelling at everyone. This took another half hour.
We left, and on our way out, we ran into a Large Family! They had five kids, long hair, skirts and two parents...my kind of people, right? So I smiled all big at the mom. She glared at me. What?!?!?! I'm like you, lady! I home school! I go to church! I believe in marriage and kids!!! (I realize that I sound all racist about home schooling here, but that's because I am a little racist about home schooling, because home schoolers tend to be racist against the whole world.) But wait, I looked down. I was wearing shorts, all sweaty and screamy, my kids were still half dressed because we just left the pool, and I didn't have husband in tow or a ring on my finger....so nope, prolly not their kind of people after all. So, basically, I don't fit in with the DINK's (double income no kids) from my town that give me looks in the store, and I don't fit in with the crazy big family people, either??? Darn.
On the upside, our van was so full of food that the suspension was taxed, and we got to ride home like this:
...and I dont' have to shop for at least two weeks. Oh, except to replace the things that melted in the 105 degree heat and the few gallons of milk that exploded when my kids helped carry them in. Darn again...I need to go back tomorrow. (PS, this is where the beer should come in.)
I have been trying to get this budget under control for three months, and just this month, it all started to come together, but we hit a few snags. This resulted in trips to the grocery store about every other day, and never having the right foods in the house. You know when you have lots of hamburger meat, half a bag of tortillas and eight thousand popsicles, and you try to make a dinner out of it? Yeah, that's what it's been like.
So, today I decided to fix it. I planned a menu for two weeks. I hate doing that. Especially after I had to eat April's lunch today and I never want to see food again. (Not the lunch she made, but the lunch she couldn't eat, and didn't want to hurt the cook's feelings.) Ugh. So I made up some meals we might eat and we might not.
Then I added a bunch of random stuff to the list. This was mostly stuff that I remembered wishing I had in the house throughout the last few weeks, but I probably won't ever want it again. Like buffalo wings. I love wings, but I don't really eat them when they're around. But it's covered, just in case.
Then I went around the house and made sure we put everything on the list we might need in the next two weeks: toothpaste, laundry detergent, dog food....beer. (Ok, beer wasn't on the list, but I did regret this later.)
Then I loaded up the kids and went shopping. For three hours. This was our Epic Trip to Avoid Walmart for at Least Two Weeks.
I usually get a lot of looks when I take my kids shopping. Mostly, it's either other worn out moms with sympathetic smiles, or older couple who ask my kids if they have girlfriends and stuff. Today was the same until we got to filling the second cart. Then I started getting looks that were clearly judgemental. I think they said things like:
You're making an eight year old push that heavy cart?
Do you really need those cookies?
That's a lot of bread. (Someone actually said this to me once...I was like, hi, this is a lot of kids.)
Why is that second cart full of beer? (hahaha! Just kidding! But I still regretted this.)
THREE HOURS LATER, I was ready to check out. The checker started crying when we started unloading the second cart. My kids, who had been very good up to this point, started asking for every single impulse item near the register, and trying to hop on the moving carts of everyone walking by. I was flustered and yelling at everyone. This took another half hour.
We left, and on our way out, we ran into a Large Family! They had five kids, long hair, skirts and two parents...my kind of people, right? So I smiled all big at the mom. She glared at me. What?!?!?! I'm like you, lady! I home school! I go to church! I believe in marriage and kids!!! (I realize that I sound all racist about home schooling here, but that's because I am a little racist about home schooling, because home schoolers tend to be racist against the whole world.) But wait, I looked down. I was wearing shorts, all sweaty and screamy, my kids were still half dressed because we just left the pool, and I didn't have husband in tow or a ring on my finger....so nope, prolly not their kind of people after all. So, basically, I don't fit in with the DINK's (double income no kids) from my town that give me looks in the store, and I don't fit in with the crazy big family people, either??? Darn.
On the upside, our van was so full of food that the suspension was taxed, and we got to ride home like this:
Aug 8, 2010
Four Days Alone
Starting on Wednesday, the kids will be at their dad's for the remainder of the week. Sunday is never a day off for me, but that still leaves me four (ok, three and a half) days to myself. Ok, the longer I write about this, the less time it seems. Hmmm...
I was going to give a list of what I want to do with all that spare time, but now I just want a long nap. Anyway, I'll just pretend that he's got them for the week, and here's what I would do:
I was going to give a list of what I want to do with all that spare time, but now I just want a long nap. Anyway, I'll just pretend that he's got them for the week, and here's what I would do:
- take a long nap (yup...this is a priority)
- blare the radio
- play this video over and over for a few hours
- read
- realize what a nerd I am right before the kids get home Sunday morning.
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