I don't have time to look over every post I've written to see if I have done the obligatory Mommy Blogger Ode to Moms post in the past. I probably have, and it was probably crazy enough to be somewhat reflective of what kind of mom I was at that point in my life. Now, who knows what I do?
But either way, writing about motherhood is much more difficult for me. Dads are easy because you can distract them with beer and then they forget what you said about them. Moms are only distracted by naptimes and I just don't have a lot of those laying around to show off to you guys.
So, I present to you:
14 Moms Who Cannot Even Believe You Right Now
With a hat tip to BuzzFeed...I'm not sure if they own Internet lists, but it's safe to assume they corner the market.
1. This mom, who cannot even believe that she is still trying to explain algebra to you.
2. This mom who is pulling this plant out of her house AGAIN cannot even believe that you haven't learned to use a toilet.
3. This mom who is so totally shocked that you would even think to do what you did that she is leaving you in the park and taking this cow-shaped plant home in your place.
4. This mom, who knew she shouldn't have worn the skirt without pockets, cannot believe you locked her out of the house.
5. This mom cannot even believe your obsession with her glasses. Cannot. Believe. It. Stahp.
6. This mom who cannot believe that you are still walking in the same direction, even though she's been making the "turn around and RUN" face at you for two minutes.
7. This mom can't even look at you right now. She cannot. She cannot believe you would wear that to the beach. She just can't.
8. This mom, who is in so much disbelief over your Facebook profile she is actually going to copy it. DO YOU GET IT NOW, KID? DO YOU? Please.
9. This mom...just...no. Just get. out. She just can't.
10. This mom who cannot believe that you still think she is gone when you're playing peek-a-boo. Get it together, baby! She's always there!!!
11. This mom, who has actually lost her mind at this point, cannot believe that you would eat her face cream again. Let her show you, child. Look. LOOK AT THE FACE CREAM GOING ON HER FACE!
12. This mom cannot believe that you were so bad in the store that she had to put herself in a time out.
13. This mom who, if she wasn't so tired, would not even believe that you stayed up all night and now she's falling asleep on her first night out in three and half years.
14. This mom just cannot believe that you didn't help with the groceries. She hopes you're not hungry this week, boy.
You'll notice that my own mother is not on this list, because she is the most amazing mom in the world. She can ALWAYS believe what I did! (Not really, but I know her "I cannot even believe you right now" face, and trust me, Internet, we'd all be so full of shame we wouldn't come out of our rooms for a week!)
I love you to the best mama in the whole wide world and even in the entire Internet!
