Ninja Truck vs. British Petroleum

Ninja Truck: Ok, I'm good now. Just put everything back where you found it and I promise not to leak oil anymore.

Me: Are you sure?

NT: Yes.

Me: Because the last time you said that, you were lying. Remember that?

NT: I thought I was good. But now I know I'm good, just do it.

Me: Ok, because I pretty much just did the exact same thing a second time.

NT: I know...that's all I needed...two times of that, now I'm good to go.

Me: :::puts everything back together:::

Anthony: Hey! Almost done?

Me: Yup! Just replacing the lines.

Anthony: Don't get them too tight.

Me: Pshhhh....I know what I'm doing, yo.

Anthony: :::trying to be patient::: Ok, because sometimes, too tight can leak just as much as too loose.

Me: It took me forever to take these off, so I think they started out pretty tight.

Anthony: :::wisely says nothing:::

Me: Ok, that should do it.

Anthony: Awesome! Start it up and I'll watch for leaks. :::moves oil pan out of the way::: :::positions face directly under former oil drip:::

Me: :::turns on the truck and looks underneath:::

Anthony: Turn it off! Turn it off! TURN IT OFF!

NT: :::major oil gushage all over Anthony's face:::

Me: :::scrambles back out from under the truck, fiddles with the keys, slips off the truck, starts over, finally turns off the truck:::

Anthony: I think these lines may be too tight.

Me: Oh.

NT: Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!

:::Thirty minutes later:::

Me: Anthony, did you get a black eye?

Anthony: :::pauses::: I think it's oil.

Me: Oh, yeah. From my truck?

Anthony: Probably.

Me: Oh. Sorry. The lines were too tight.

Anthony: Yeah.

Me: Ok. Soooo.....you wanna get back under there and see what's leaking now?