I have written some pretty incredible blog posts over the last few weeks, only none of them ever managed to find their way out of my head and through my fingers and make their way to the Internet.
A quick summary for you then, of what I would have written, in a truly awesome way, had I actually done it:
1. After two years of grueling labor (in the form of talking to shiny-haired lawyer on the phone), I am legally single. Legal has nothing on reality, but whatever, it's a step.
2. In about two weeks, I will be finished with school. I will also turn 32. If you are younger than thirty, you may think these two cancel each other out. In fact, they do, but only because I'd like to celebrate both things by way of a very long nap.
3. Obligatory New Year's Post: Things I want to do in 2012.
Start my own company
Clean my house
Rent a party bus every Monday, so that Monday can be cool
Start planning for Christmas in July instead of on Christmas Eve
Organize All the Things
Find the floor of the laundry room
Spend more time in the kitchen doing something other than cleaning it
Obtain fabulous hair
Avoid grocery shopping at all times
Other than the cleaning thing, I think these are all fairly obtainable.
3. I may need you guys to help me with my company. Social Media Marketing and this blog go hand in hand, because I successfully Google pranked Jason F. Brown. Remember? Which means I win at this, and it's really the only thing on my resume at this point. So you all may be getting some calls for references, is my point, because you are the only people I know and also because you have witnessed my brilliance first-hand. Right? ....Right?
4. This is a run-down of what happened over the last 24 hours, which may explain somewhat why I don't have time to write my own blog anymore:
9pm last night - I'm putting together a very important photo blog for my company, which is at the CES in Vegas this week. Very important, and also not part of my regular schedule, so I was freaking out trying to make the time to do it.
10:00 - Madi threw up, with no regard to proper puke etiquette. I cleaned everything while she cried. (I may have cried a little.)
10:30 - upload one more photo to the blog
11pm - She got mad at me and threw up again - at me this time, because I made her take a bath.
11:30 - redo all the captions on the blog, because WordPress decided they should all go on one photo and the other photos should just go away.
12:00am - Again with the puking. This time, we both held it together and nobody cried.
12:30 - Check the blog to make sure it's ready to publish first thing in the morning. Go to bed.
1:00 - Finally drift off to sleep
1:01 - Yip, more throwing up
1:30 - back to sleep
3:00 - Small child covered in puke climbs into my bed. Deal with this.
6:30 - Wake up and the coffee pot is broken. No amount of threats or tears would convince it to brew.
7:00 - consider going back to bed because this is going to be One of Those Days. Decide to FACE THE DAY, with a Good Attitude, no less.
8:00 - Begin upload of children into truck for school.
9:00 - Finish upload and drop the well children off ten minutes late. Sickies are staying home, which means mama is staying home, too. Call my mommy so that she does not have to be deprived of the knowledge of my misery.
10-noon - Tinker with the blog and publish, tweet, and Facebook it.
1:00 - phone call from the CEO's wife from Vegas. Mad panic finding the info she needs as I rush to drop the younger kids at school ten minutes late.
1:30 - come home and finish finding info, which includes the discovery that I'll need to sit and watch for an important link to pop up from one of our VIP contacts. Meanwhile, the North Pole moves into town and I rush outside to find enough sticks in the yard to get a fire going.
2:00 - fire goes out, emails and texts are flying, it's very cold in my house, and I have to make a dental appointment for one of the kids
3:00 - I'm watching for the link to come up, Tweeting about the Hangout of Awesomeness our CEO was getting ready to do, and spraining my thumbs texting his wife about where to find the link.
3:15 - I decide to get the kids early, since the Hangout started at 4, and I really needed to be back before it happened to tell Twitter about it. I'm telling you guys, Twitter is at a complete LOSS if I'm not around to tell it what's going on.
3:30 - ten minutes early to get the kids at school, but I can't find them.
3:40 - Fight my way through the sea of small children leaving the school to the teacher in charge of my kids.
3:45 - Said teacher finally finishes yelling at me about my lack of a yellow piece of paper, I grab the kids and run through the parking lot to get to the truck. It's freakin' cold, yo.
4:00 - Hangout of Awesomeness is about to start, I tell the kids to get their own snacks and start their homework and rush to my computer to find the link. The link is still not there, but I tell Twitter about it anyway.
4:10 - Hangout of Awesomeness starts a little late with no audio, which doesn't matter much to me because my computer has decided it hates playing video. I watched what I could, and saw the Big Boss on the Interwebz, and it was pretty cool. My kids thought he was Darth Vader, but don't tell him that. He didn't look like Vader or anything, my sound was just messed up. Either way, a family affair.
5:30 - Restart the fire, start dinner, homework, phone call, and 48 emails to answer.
6:00 - Dinner. Chill.
7:00 - Back to answering the emails
8:00 - Put the kids to bed, not for the first time tonight, and back to the emails.
9:00 - Tell you, Interwebz, what my days are like so that you don't think I have left you by choice.
