Why Blogger?

Well, I was starting this blog, planning to write daily. The point of this was mostly to amuse myself, because I actually find myself quite funny (lucky for me but not so for anyone who gets stuck listening to me). My plan had been to write something every evening, so that I could go back later and remember how funny things really are. And usually, that works out great, because they are always funny when I read about them long after I am done freaking out. But, the best laid plans...

I had a baby six weeks ago. Before that, I also had the privilege of having five other babies (not all at once, but really close). This is my only accomplishment in the last six years. I have done nothing at all except have babies. I can't really say I have done anything else that has stayed done. The best part about having babies is that you can't un-have them. The dishes can get dirty, the laundry gets undone, the dinners get eaten, the bills keep piling up...but babies stay had. Anyway, I had my baby, and he was ripped from my arms three hours later. Actually, he wasn't ripped, because the nurses were really nice about it, but that is what it felt like. He was whisked away to a different hospital to have an emergency surgery. My plan had been to spend that night ooh-ing and ahh-ing over him, and then do that for about two days, and then go home and do that some more. Well, that didn't happen. Instead, I spent that night wailing until my mommy came up and made me sleep. As soon as I woke up, I left my hospital and went to his. The sleep my mom made me get was the last I was to get for a long time. It turned out that the baby didn't need the surgery right away (he will have it in about two weeks), but he remained in the NICU for two days for testing.

I didn't rest during those days -- I mostly sat in his room, being startled awake by nurses every time my eyes dared to close. (I was allowed complete access to the chair in his room any time of the day or night, as long as I didn't fall asleep -- I have no idea why.) I planned to have my wonderful husband take the kids for a day after we got back so I could have my baby time, and also to have him take the baby one night so that I could get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. Well...

That didn't happen. After the baby was born, my husband felt bad about the time he had missed from work (he was with the baby non-stop, as well), so he spent the next few days at the office. Then he was hospitalized. For two and half weeks. I spent those two weeks carting my kids to sitters, going to see my dearest, and just trying to hold everything together. My fabulous sisters, sister-in-law and mother kept me sane, and watched my babies for me. My mother-in-law and I teamed up to help my husband. I planned to get over this hospital stay and take one day to clean my house and put my life back together and keep it that way so I could enjoy my babies until school started. Well...

The night he got home from the hospital, he got a stomach ache. After three days of him bending over in pain, I finally insisted that he go the (guess where?) hospital. I believe he would have preferred that I go jump in a lake than sit there and nag him about going back to a hospital. I called in the troops (his mother). It turns out that he had appendicitis. One emergency surgery later (his appendix did burst, meanwhile, of course), he is in the hospital for another three days. This poor guy. So at this point, I start feeling sorry for him instead of me. I mean, I had missed out on a lot of lovin' on my babies, and I had missed my husband desperately, but he had all of those same problems, as well as all the pain and being cooped up. I planned on bringing him home and taking care of him and my babies and doing nothing else for pretty much ever.

But, lo and behold, life goes on even if I am not there to control everything. My adorable and brave grandparents managed to have a fiftieth anniversary last week. Congratulations to them! My mom and my aunts are throwing them a much deserved party. (I think the party is deserved by EVERYONE at this point.) So, the two nights after the hospital, I leave my husband at home and take my kids to help get things ready (I was not much help), and tomorrow, I will attend the party and probably leave him here again. So, at this point, I have figured something out.

See, God made me a big sister of six. I was born to be bossy and in control of everything. I am really good at it, I think. I am sure that everyone would be much happier if they did everything my way. This does not apply only to my younger siblings, but pretty much everyone in the whole world. Well, I am thinking that, with all of this planning I have been trying to do, God has been trying to tell me something. I can't imagine that it would possibly be that the Almighty is better than I at controlling the world, could it??? I wondered this on my way home this evening. Maybe it's something else...like maybe He wants me to take on bigger and better things...perhaps controlling the United States or something? Who knows? Because I can't possibly imagine how anything would manage to get done if I hadn't planned it!

But my sweet Jamesy Wamesy (wassup, cuz') taught me something tonight. He thought of an idea for us grandkids to do at the party tomorrow. It was a good idea. Like really good. And you know what? I didn't have anything to do with it! He thought it up all by him little selfy-welfy. Can you believe that? I couldn't. I mean, he's smart and everything, but seriously, can other people really honestly be as good as I am at knowing how everything should be????? What?!?!?! Well, apparently so. So, the Lord used James to show me something that the last six weeks of hospital visits hadn't managed to drum into my brain -- I DON'T HAVE TO BE IN CHARGE. I am actually NOT in charge, and I never was!!! (Are you all ready for this, because it may come as a shock to you that I am not who you thought I was?!?!) GOD is in charge!!! Thank Goodness for that, too, because my plans have the tendency to fall apart with a serious quickness. So, now that you have all been shocked with the news of Who is really the Boss, I will start trying to take a back seat from now on. If any of you do notice me trying to take the wheel again, please put me back into the back and strap me into the seat. I am sure that won't work, so keep the trunk unlocked just in case.

New Beginings

Fortunately, creating this blog set up the perfect situation for me to write about here. This will be a place for random musings on motherhood, couplehood, and things that go along with them. As I locked myself away into the playroom to set this blog up (and to email a few lost friends), my children kindly created the exact kind of thing I love to write about. I was MIA for about an hour (they were in and out with me), and I walked back into a wonderland of diaper wipes and playing cards. I would like to speak with the gentleman who decided that one deck of cards wasn't enough for the kids, and they should have eight decks in one box. Here is the thing with kids...if there is a group of something (diaper wipes or cards, for example), and it is within their reach, they are going to do their best to "ungroup" it. They do this as a favor, so that you don't get bored with always finding things in one spot. See, this way, you can find wipes in your houseplants, under the coffee table, in the sink, and swinging from the fan, instead of constantly having to get the diaper bag. And if you are ever sitting inside of your kitchen cupboards with nothing to do -- Look! There are some cards to play! You can Go Fish and Old Maid for hours in there without ever needing to come out! And if you accidentally make a mess, check under your frying pan, there is bound to be a diaper wipe.

Another thing that is always in need of ungrouping is flour. Flour is really a staple, and most of us use it quite a bit. So why should it only be kept in the pantry? If you had some on your floor, it would keep the brownie batter you spill from sticking to it. If you had some all over the shelves in your pantry, you wouldn't have to be always getting out the entire bag. If you put a little in your trashcan, you get an exiting poof when you tie up the bag. And a little bit on the living room carpet goes a long way when you need to be able to see where you forgot to vacuum. You see? This is a favor, Mom!

If your kids are tired of the same old chores, you can have them try some other things. My kids don't really get tired of ungrouping very quickly, but on those rainy days, I like to have them do some "printing". Printing is an excellent way to childproof your house. In order to do this, you feed your children something that shouldn't be messy, but, somehow, it is. This could be ham and cheese, chips, some kind of noodle with nothing on it...be creative. The trick is to remember that, when touched to a child's hand, normal food becomes abnormally sticky and gooey. This has to do with hand chemistry, although I am not a scientist, so I can't explain how it works. Anyway, after they are good and gooey, you send them out printing. They run randomly through the house, touching everything they can reach. This may be your TV, your couch, the tables, the walls, the doors (and don't forget door handles), the stove, the potty, whatever. Let them go for about an hour. (One hour is good for one kid. I actually have five that can walk, so it really only takes them about eight minutes.) When they are done, check your house. Anything that has been printed is then labeled a "known reachable", and can therefore be childproofed accordingly.

Keep reading for some more excellent tips on getting your kids to help with the housework!