When I was a kid, D.A.R.E. came to my school every year and taught us to "Just Say No". Every time I opened a box of Lemon Heads or Junior Mints, the inner flap of the box said "Just Say No to Drugs". I heard it so many times that I eventually came to believe that drugs would one day walk up to me on their own and say "Would you like to take some of us?" and I would say "NO!", and that would scare the drugs away and they would never bother me again.
I propose a new sort of class. This class would be given almost as often as Just Say No to Drugs. It would be called Just Say No to....Everything Else. It could be run by Y.A.R.E officers (Yes Abuse Resistance Education), and could be taught at any age level, but should be required before becoming a mother. I have been unsuccessful in starting a support group for yes addicts, but today, I am here to say, "My name is Mandy, and I am addicted to yes." There, I've admitted I have a problem, and that's a step, right?
I would like to go one step further and start saying no...
Let's start small:
No, drive-through worker, it is no longer "okay" that I spent ten minutes listening to my kids scream while trapped in the car with them because you don't know how to count money.
No, person I hardly know, I can't have coffee with you because I don't even have time to have coffee with my real friends.
No, son, you may not use the computer right now, Mommy is blogging. (You see, opportunities for using no are abundant.)
No, teacher, I cannot help with the field trip, the class party, snack day, homework, fund raisers, spirit week, or science experiments, and by the way, I'll be picking my kids up half an hour late from now on.
This is fun...let's keep going.
No, friends, I don't have time to "hang out". When I say maybe, I mean no. I would like to hang out, but the next weekend I have free is in 2022.
No, former customers and vendors, I am not, in fact, my husband. I have no idea where he is, if or when he will call you back, where he keeps the paperwork, if he plans on fulfilling his commitments to you, or what you are even talking about. I am only nice to you because I feel sorry for you. No, I will probably not give him your message.
No, I don't want to plan ANYONE'S birthday party. Please don't be offended if I don't really care it's your birthday. I have seven birthdays per year that I have to make a big fuss over, and since you are not my child, I just cannot see what the big flippin' deal is.
No, church-lady, I can't help with ANYTHING. I truly want to, but unless our church has nanny services and gas cards, I can't do it.
No, friend, I can't babysit. I love your kid, but my kids are really hard to handle, and to be honest, I am going to watch yours more closely than my own, which makes them jealous, and it's just a bad day from there on out.
Well, as much fun as that was, I am afraid that people will never ask me for anything if I continue to write. The thing is, I want to help people. I want to do all of the things I say yes to. The problem is that over-commitment leads to under-fulfillment, and I hate that. I want to be super-woman, but I'm not. So will somebody please teach me how to say no???
I propose a new sort of class. This class would be given almost as often as Just Say No to Drugs. It would be called Just Say No to....Everything Else. It could be run by Y.A.R.E officers (Yes Abuse Resistance Education), and could be taught at any age level, but should be required before becoming a mother. I have been unsuccessful in starting a support group for yes addicts, but today, I am here to say, "My name is Mandy, and I am addicted to yes." There, I've admitted I have a problem, and that's a step, right?
I would like to go one step further and start saying no...
Let's start small:
No, drive-through worker, it is no longer "okay" that I spent ten minutes listening to my kids scream while trapped in the car with them because you don't know how to count money.
No, person I hardly know, I can't have coffee with you because I don't even have time to have coffee with my real friends.
No, son, you may not use the computer right now, Mommy is blogging. (You see, opportunities for using no are abundant.)
No, teacher, I cannot help with the field trip, the class party, snack day, homework, fund raisers, spirit week, or science experiments, and by the way, I'll be picking my kids up half an hour late from now on.
This is fun...let's keep going.
No, friends, I don't have time to "hang out". When I say maybe, I mean no. I would like to hang out, but the next weekend I have free is in 2022.
No, former customers and vendors, I am not, in fact, my husband. I have no idea where he is, if or when he will call you back, where he keeps the paperwork, if he plans on fulfilling his commitments to you, or what you are even talking about. I am only nice to you because I feel sorry for you. No, I will probably not give him your message.
No, I don't want to plan ANYONE'S birthday party. Please don't be offended if I don't really care it's your birthday. I have seven birthdays per year that I have to make a big fuss over, and since you are not my child, I just cannot see what the big flippin' deal is.
No, church-lady, I can't help with ANYTHING. I truly want to, but unless our church has nanny services and gas cards, I can't do it.
No, friend, I can't babysit. I love your kid, but my kids are really hard to handle, and to be honest, I am going to watch yours more closely than my own, which makes them jealous, and it's just a bad day from there on out.
Well, as much fun as that was, I am afraid that people will never ask me for anything if I continue to write. The thing is, I want to help people. I want to do all of the things I say yes to. The problem is that over-commitment leads to under-fulfillment, and I hate that. I want to be super-woman, but I'm not. So will somebody please teach me how to say no???
