Chats with Shucks

Shucks: What the...???

Me: It's just snow...go potty then you can come back in.

Shucks: It coldses my feet!

Me: Just go so I can shut the door.

Shucks: I don't have to go.

Me: :::shuts the door:::

Shucks: Wait. I do have to go.

Me: :::opens the door::: Go.

Shucks: But it's cold.

Me: GO.

Shucks: :::takes one step outside and slips off the porch::: GAAAAAAAHHHHH!

Me: :::slams the door and sits by the fire:::

Shucks: :::buries himself in a snow drift, flings snow everywhere, barks at it::: OK! Ize all done...lemme in lemme in lemme in!!!!

Me: Hurry, it's cold.

Shucks: :::standing in the doorway::: But WAIT! If I stand right here, I can play in the snow and still be warm! AHA!

Me: :::kicks him back outside and shuts the door:::

Shucks: NOOOoooo! Lemme in!

me: In or out, dude, it's 20 below out there, and you're not paying to heat this place.

Shucks: In! I think in...yes, I believe I want to go in...no OUT! That's it, I would like to go out, please. Out it is....except out is cold, so IN...please let me in. But the snow is fun, so out, but it's cold, so in....AW....what do I do????

Me: You stink. You're staying out.

Shucks: Did you feed the kids nuggets? I need to come in.

Me: No.

Shucks: If I don't bark at them all through dinner, they will choke and also eat too much because I won't be there to eat half their dinner.

Me: You stink.

Shucks: Fine. Let me in and I'll stay right here by the window.

Me: Fine.

Shucks: :::pulls the blinds down with his paw so he can see outside.:::

Squirrel: :::hops across the yard:::

Shucks: :::SUPER DEATH BARK:::: ::::tries to jump out the window:::

Me: I don't care about the pupsicle thing, you're going outside.

Shucks::: Hurry, that squirrel is going DOWN.