I have been blessed all week to witness advice from people
who do not live here on how we should be doing things. People who live in
places where a natural disaster is an excuse for violence and looting. People
who live in places where attacks are a reason to further a “looking out for
number one” attitude. People who have never even seen a tornado, who are
content with a weather forecast that only contains a temperature and a graphic
of sun or clouds. These people have advice for us, Oklahoma.
First, and most obviously, we should all move. Did you hear
that, Tornado Alley? We need to gather our collective skirts and skedaddle. Yeah,
right.
My favorite quote in favor of moving:
“These people live
right on Tornado Road? Why would you ever choose to move to the road that
tornadoes use?” Alley means road, right? Clearly this is a person of wisdom and
we should all heed her words.
And lest we rush off to start packing right away, perhaps we
should all take a moment to re-think our politics. In spite of the fact that
our insurance policies have become more expensive, our doctors are quitting,
and the quality of our healthcare is on the decline (though certainly to be
made better soon; we all know how great the IRS is at being in charge of
things), if we had only just accepted it.
Then all the things would be better. For instance:
“How Many #Homes cud b re-blt in #Oklahoma w/money #GOP
spent on #Defeat #Obamacare #Votes” (sic)
Of course, in the event our politics aren’t the problem, it
could always be our Faith. Or our…uh…stance on global warming? All I know is
that this man’s words are profound:
“Children need a book explaining why GOD punishises #Oklahoma & #Texas
4 pollution Not SF or VEGAS”(sic)
And let us not forget about how we should disregard the
difficulties in having a basement in Oklahoma. Because obviously, we all think
we’re Pecos Bill and can just lasso tornadoes.
“If #Oklahoma
has 2 much bedrock & aquafers 2 dig basement shelters, let the 7 US states
running out of h2o pay 4 it in exchange 4 h2o” (sic) (*sigh)
Is she wanting to pay the “aquafers” or for the basements to
be blasted? I don’t know, but…
I love Oklahoma. I’ve always been proud of the people in my
state, and I am proud of them now. We stick together, we take care of our own.
There is a reason we’re good people, and I believe a lot of that shows in our “backward”
politics. You don’t have to like it, rest-of-America. You’re welcome to your
opinion. And when I see you stand in front of an EF5 tornado and calmly explain to it how your politics preclude you from getting windy, I may even listen
to you. But until then…
