Quote of the Day

While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly, the most uninhibited, intimate and, yes, shocking details about our config.sys settings. ~Dave Barry

Jul 1, 2010

The Chewing

So, if I had to pick a pet peeve, I think it would be Hearing People Chew.  At least, that's what it would be today.  Other days it could be Bad Drivers, Gossips, Other Peoples' Kids Screaming, My Kids Screaming, and most of the time it would be Pretty Much Anything My Ex-Friend Greg Does.  But today, it's the chewing thing.

I made a Ruling today that no child would be leaving their room until it was clean.  I made this Ruling shortly after lunch, before I remembered that I had been up till five in the morning and didn't have the stamina to enforce said Ruling.  Most of these situations end after about one hour of my kids screwing around, then two hours of me furiously "showing them how" (read: doing it for them), but not today...I was just too tired.  So they stayed in their rooms all day long and didn't get anything done. 

How does this tie in with the Chewing Peeve?  Hang on, I'm getting there...

Because they weren't allowed out of their rooms, they didn't get anything to eat after lunch AT ALL.  But, about an hour after dinner time, I started feeling guilty and let them out for dinner.  They were starving, and I made tacos (their favorite). 

Most evenings, I cook something fantastic that my children won't eat, and dinner is spent in loud conversation sprinkled with mommy yelling at everyone to eat their food.  BUT, when it's something they like, it's a normal dinner with normal conversation...

BUT...

If they are starving, and it's something they like, and I'm too angry and tired to yell about anything, well, that leads to chewing.  My daughter made the most massive taco I have ever seen and I was rolling my eyes wondering why she thought she would ever be able to eat that much.  Two of her brothers saw it and couldn't be outdone, so they made tacos roughly the size of Texas.  I was simmering in my chair, just waiting for the day, nay, the WEEK, to be over and thinking up a good lecture (to be delivered after sleeping) on why we don't put more food on our plates than we can eat.  I was wrong.  The three who made giant tacos finished them and asked for more.  The other three made smaller tacos, but ate way more of them than I could count.  But, since they were all starving, there wasn't time for talking or manners....which left....Hearing People Chew.  Six people.  Six little kids.  With only a basic knowledge of manners.  Manners that go away when they are starving.  I nearly fell over dead.  It was awful.  If I hadn't had to run to the store before I put them to bed, I would still be sitting in that chair shell-shocked from all the chewing.  YUK.  I don't ever want tacos again. Maybe next time I will puree them into smoothies and I won't have to deal with the Chewing Thing.

To top it off, I put the stuff away after dinner, but the boys got it back out to make one last snack before heading back to their room.  Then, Sweet Puppy came in, climbed onto the table (he's a little new at the whole being-in-the-house thing), knocked over a new bottle of taco sauce and feasted on ground beef and cheese.  He's outside, now, because I have no desire to see what sort of disgustingess he manages after a meal like that.  Also, he's got taco sauce all over his head.