100%

Right before the snow day(s), I took a test, but I forgot about it. I had to have a "meeting" with my teacher today...I don't know why, really, only we do that on Mondays. Anyway, she gave me a LOOK and asked if I checked my grade on that test. I was like "uhhhh...." So she pointed at it.

That was scary, because she'll usually just holler across the room what grade I got because she knows I hate stopping what I'm doing. But it was a perfect grade...the first perfect grade I have received.

So I strutted back to my desk all "Oh, yeah, I got a hundred...I am the best...the rest of you suck..." until I thought about what it was at which I was so perfect and I couldn't remember. I got a perfect grade on a test I don't remember taking. I don't even remember what the chapter was about. I remember that it was chapter 19, because I remember writing that a few times, but for the life of me, I don't remember what I did in that chapter.

I know it wasn't payroll or inventory. And I know I took the test in about ten minutes because I wanted to get credit for at least one thing before we got blizzardized. I also slightly remember thinking I didn't care what grade I got, because I was going to screw up my week with stupid Excel anyway. And it wasn't on amortization, because that was awful and I wouldn't have played around with anything as serious as amortization.

So do any of you know what Chapter 19 was about? Because I guess I need to get a job doing that.

Almost Christmas Break

Do people ever grow out of acting up when "the boss" isn't around?

Remember as kids when there would be a substitute teacher and the whole day was just a waste? And I haven't worked in awhile, but I seem to recall a few work days that went the same way when the boss wasn't around.

Our teacher wasn't at school today, and we had this nice little old lady instead. Most of the time, we know if our regular teacher won't be there, so we plan our day accordingly; normally, I wouldn't plan to take a test that day, and just have stuff to do that doesn't require asking questions. This time, we didn't know, and the only thing I had to do was take two tests, and I didn't want to do that today, so I just goofed off and talked and studied a little.

Everyone else talked through the entire class. One guy kept leaving the room and managed to be in the class just often enough to make sure they didn't notice and count him absent. It's very close to the end of the semester, and we get the firing squad if we miss more than five hours or something, so it's very important that people are in the room, even if they aren't doing anything.

And if I could, I just need to mention that this makes me a little angry. I've missed about seven days of school because of my kids being sick. I can't miss any more or I face the wrath of the votech dean. However, I have done twice the work I need to. I am pretty sure that should count for something like maybe taking December off. Because I don't want to be anywhere but home in December.

There is one guy who sits in the front and he always leaves early. Our teacher notices it about half the time. He left today about ten minutes after class started, and the sweet little old lady started counting people and noticed that one was missing. She kept asking where the other person went and we were all looking around to see who was gone. After about ten minutes, three or four of us had figured out who it was, but nobody wanted to tattle. Seriously, like eight year olds. We're all "Hmmm....I don't know how many people are usually here...I see everyone I sit next to...I just don't know..." So finally, the lady decided she had counted wrong in the first place, and went back to her desk.

We all rolled our eyes at each other as a passive agressive statement about people who leave early and put the rest of us in a bad situation, and possibly also we were a little jealous that he thought of it first. Or maybe a lot jealous. Or maybe one of us was jealous enough that they spent the rest of the class imagining the wonderful adventures he must be having in the wide world outside the classroom. That person may have been me, but also maybe not, because the guy next to me kept leaning over and whispering "Can I go, too? Is it time to leave? Do you think I could sneak out?"

A few minutes later, the sub was obviously still bothered because she started going to every empty seat in the room and asking who normally sat there. This part was kind of funny, because the seat in question was the furthest from her, so we got the gossip on every missing person before she finally got to his seat. She asked where that guy went and we all said "Ohhhh...yeah...haven't seen him in awhile..." So she called in the teacher next door and wrote him up. And then some other girl realized what was going on and said "Oh, I saw him talking to that girl over there!" The "girl over there" was one who knew he was missing and hadn't told, so she wasn't very thrilled with getting called out. The thing is, I didn't see him talk to her, and I was pretty sure it hadn't happened.

It hadn't. She had been talking to a different guy, the one who kept disappearing but also coming back. So the lady who was trying to tattle starts cracking up and says "Oh, well, they all look alike, who cares?" I kid you not, she really said that. And I thought it was pretty racist against men, because that was pretty much the only thing those two had in common....

And what does it say about my life right now that I really want to grill that guy tomorrow on what he did during his free time so that I may live a little vicariously through him....maybe he took a nap, or got a pizza, or sat down and listened to his iPod....wow. He's my hero.

Random Bits and Pieces, Because I Have Nothing to Say

For Rochelle, from The Journal:

"Dad is being so mean to me!  He called me a smart alec tonight.  (Psh) Whatever an 'alec' is. (Yes, because that wasn't smart Alec at all...wonder why he would've called me that.  Meanie.)

"I'm SO upset!  Last night, I closed with Brian (A guy from work who I swore to marry one day...never happened.), and we got into a big fight.  See, first, he ate my cookie...." What??? 
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Other Randomness:

:::walking back to class from a meeting:::  "Wait, there were five of us, where did the other person go?...one, two, three, four...Oh...yeah, we're five people.  Good thing I chose accounting." -- Me

My four year old niece ten minutes after my eight year old lost a tooth -- "Aunt Mandy, I keep pulling and pulling, but why won't my tooth come out?"

After School:
Warrick:  Mommy, I'm the best at science in my whole class!
Huston:  And I'm the fastest reader!
Madilynn:  And I'm the best at being have!  (She thinks when I tell her to behave, I'm saying to be have.)
My niece:  And I'm the shortest!

Emma's teacher:  We finally got assigned seating.  With four year olds, it takes some time because some personalities just don't need to sit near each other. 
Me:  Emma, I saw where you sit at school.
Emma:  Yeah, I sit on ducks, but I used to sit on boats.
Me:  :::I knew that teacher was talking about my kid!:::  Were you fighting with someone?
Emma:  :::The kid who can kick anybody's ass:::  Well, some kid pushed me.
Me:  So...what did you do?
Emma:  Nothing.  Until the next day and I punched him.

Is it wrong that I'm a little proud of this?  Yes. The answer is yes.  So I only cheered for her silently in my head, while I told my daughter that we don't hit anyone, even if they have it coming. 

First Week of School

I have been away from my computer for two whole days because I had to start school.  Also, the kids had to start school, and it's been nuts.  School is kind of a bummer, because they want you there at a certain time, and they think they should tell you what to do and when to do it...they operate on their schedule only, like school is Important, and naps are not.  Psh.

I like everything about school except the driving and all the being told what to do.  After I go to class, I go pick up my kids at their school, where all five of their teachers get to tell me what else to do.  Then I go home and make dinner and then pretty much fall asleep at my keyboard after trying to think of something to write about. 

I keep thinking about the olden days, like last week, then I wish for Christmas Break.  I'm not kidding, the first thing I did during my first day of class was check the schedule to see when our first break would be.  (Labor Day, yo....my house will be rockin' with lazy.)  Then I got very jealous because my kids' school is letting them have a second day off that I don't get.  So they get a four day weekend when I'm stuck with three measly days...not fair.  If you ask me, that's what's wrong with kids today...too many four day weekends and not enough sit down and work.  It's all good, though, because I'm going to make them cook and clean while I'm at school...call it Role-Reversal Day.  Then they can bring me cookies and ask me how my day went.

Scary Test

I had to go take Scary Test today to see if I am smart enough to go to school.  It was a two hour test, and I had no coffee or food before I went (which does not make for great focus).  I pretty much spent the first fifteen minutes looking around to see if anyone had dropped any candy on the floor, hoping they wouldn't think I was trying to cheat.  (I didn't find any candy.  Bummer.)

The girl who told me how to use the computer (ok, ok, the bar is already low here, I get that), told me that it was very important to take my time, because people who take the test quickly always end up losing at life and become something awful like politicians or drug addicts.  (I think that's what she said, I was beginning the candy hunt at that point.)  Even though there were a few people who started before I got there, I was the first one done with the test, so I sat in my chair and waited for at least two people to leave.  I'm not really sure why I did this, because I couldn't go back and change my answers, and I'm pretty sure the computer knew I was done.  I was a little frightened that I would get a judgemental look from the Test Administrators and they would yell at me in front of all the other kids or something.  So I sat there and very nearly starved to death.

After I got up the nerve to get out of my chair, I had to go get the paper with my score to take to some other person.  The administrator scared me to death because she told me that she wasn't supposed to talk to people about their scores, but she wanted to explain something about mine.  I was freaking out.  She said I needed this certain score to get into school, and the only score I could see was Algebra, which was lower.  My dreams were crushed.  (My dreams of becoming a bookkeeper and trying to work my way through my real dreams over the next ten years or so, that is.)  Well, anyway, apparently, Algebra doesn't matter (Hello!!!  I've been saying this since highschool!!), and she was pointing out that my other scores were pretty good, so that was a relief...dreams uncrushed, proceed with Life.

So, here's what the test said (and pretty much what I knew about myself already):

Reading - Good Score = I love to read, I read fast, but I hate reading poetic drivel about despair and oppression, and I apparently cannot answer questions about it.  I spent most of that story looking for candy and watching the clock to see if I was taking my time.

Pre-Algebra (in the old days, we called it math) - OK Score = I can count.  (My courses are for Accounting Services, so let's hope I can count.)  I have the ability to work in percentages and fractions, but "It's not a pretty picture.  I don't like doing it."  (If you can guess that quote, you win at being a 90's kid.)

Algebra - Awful Score = I answered "c" for every questions and basically got 25% right.  I remember learning algebra as a kid, and when my mom didn't know how to help me, she would ask my dad to try.  He would explain it to me, and magically come up with an answer.  I would go "Whaaa...???"  So he would explain it again - not differently - louder.  I'd be all "The thing is, how do letters ever equal numbers?  And if they do, why not just put the number there in the first place?"  So my dad would very patiently use the exact same words even louder.  I would say "Ohhhhhh....ok" and he would leave.  Then I would turn back a few pages and hope I could figure out what he was talking about.  (Note:  I am not criticizing my dad for this; this is sort of how I teach people to read.  I end up screaming psychotically, "It's 'THE'!!!  How do you NOT know this word?!?!  You just read it EIGHT MILLION TIMES in the last FIVE MINUTES!  'THE', DAMMIT!  Gah!  Just let me read it for you."  See?  I'm crazy.)

Writing - Perfect Score = I am completely anal and rude about grammar and punctuation.  I actually caught myself sighing disgustedly - out loud - because of the horrible grammar in the essays I was supposed to correct.  This is also how I read you, Internet.  You disgust me with your misspellings and your incorrect usage of there (or their, or they're) and your (or you're), and lack of understanding of the beautiful comma.  Please, I beg you, do something about this.  And no, I didn't need a test to tell me this about myself...I knew it all along.  I am so picky about this that I am One of Those People.  Which is funny, because I HATE when Those People correct my writing mistakes.  So Shut. Up.  I'm sure this post is riddled with them because it's midnight and it's been a long day and my kids keep talking in their sleep and freaking me out.  (I still rock at making sentence boyfriends that go on terribly long.)

Anyway, I pretty much learned stuff I already knew, and I'm glad I am smart enough for vo-tech.