Ok, guys, I guess I've been a little rough on ya. I'll help you out a little, now. If you have read the book I mentioned, you have probably heard a lot of good advice from one man to another. I'm sure you've heard advice from your wife or your sister or your mom...But now you have to hear it from me. (Actually, you don't have to -- there's a little magic red box in the top right corner of the screen with an "x" on it. All you have to do is click it and I go away.)
Finally, Some Help!
Ok, so, even if you know your wife is suffering from "hormonal problems" and that is why she is freaking out on you -- never, ever, ever say that. The good doctor suggests keeping track of these things, and when your wife gets overly-emotional, you should just remind her that it's going to go away in a few days and that you are there to support her until it does. I am sure he means well with that, but as a woman, I cannot agree with that advice. I'm only looking out for you here, guys. As far as "keeping track" goes, I guess that's all right, but don't tell your wife that you're doing that so you'll know when to expect crazy-lady to come out. If your wife is upset, it's for real.
Hormones work like this: Things that would normally elicit an emotional response still do. The only difference is that the emotion may be much more than it would otherwise. This can work in your favor -- make her happy and then she'll be extra happy. Upset her, and yeah, she'll be extra upset. But never forget that whatever the reason, the emotions are REAL. Treat them as such, and you'll go far, my friend.
Second point: How to get what you want. Yup, I'll tell you the secret. The doctor suggests maybe doing the dishes or something. Ok, well, depending on how much your wife hates dishes and how much you give away about your intentions, this may work once or twice. And it is a nice thing to do.
I'll tell you the real secret, though. Let's face it, we all know what you want -- a roast dinner with potatoes and carrots and gravy, right? (What did you think I was gonna' say???) So, you can't just come home from work and expect that exact dinner every night -- maybe your wife made chicken or something. And really, washing a few dishes does nothing to get that roast on the table, does it? So, here's what you do...before you leave for work in the morning, tell your wife that you love her roast, and ask her if she'll make it sometime this week. She may have time to make it that day, but she may still need to go to the store or something. If you have put the roast in the freezer, it will take a couple of days to thaw out, so keep that in mind, as well. So, the morning before the roast dinner, your wife already has it planned. It will be thawed by lunch time, seasoned, seared and simmering away by the time the kids are taking naps. When you walk in the door, it will be almost ready. At this point, you have two options -- you can sit down and watch TV until the roast is served OR you can go into the kitchen and ask your wife if she needs any help. Whether she needs help or not, your presence in the kitchen with her will help to get dinner served up more efficiently. Then, when dinner is over, you can secure another roast dinner for next week by telling her how much you loved the one you had tonight. See? That's how to get what you want -- I'm not evil -- I'm helpful.
By the way, I've heard too many times that it's the wife's fault if dinner isn't ready in time for the husband. This may be true some of the time, but if it happens a lot, keep in mind that your wife may not want to cook every night, and you can bring dinner home every once in awhile...it will make her happy, which will make you happy. Everybody's happy, and I get the credit because I'm the Martha Stewart of marriage. It's a good thing.
Point number three: Dr. Dobson says that the raising of the children should not be considered "woman's work". I happen to agree with him on that one. Explain to your wife that you need a few minutes to unwind after you come home from work -- most women are ok with that. Once you're switched into home-mode, try thinking of something you can do with the kids that will be your special time with them. Help them with their homework, give baths, read books -- whatever. Man, I'm good. I should really write this stuff down.
