As I am still not quite over the sickness I had two weeks ago, and I'm also about to go insane trying to get ready for Christmas, I decided to take a leave of absence for the last week of the semester. This gives me time to catch up with my life before my kids get off school.
I had strep before, and it seems to not be going away quite yet. I have to go talk to my doctor tomorrow. He is really nice in that made me sit in the waiting room for an hour but apologized for it profusely during while examining me when I was really uncomfortable and would've said ok to anything just to get out of that office kind of way. But I still don't want to go. I hate how doctors are all self-righteous about stuff like health and not doing anything that kills you or whatever.
Dr: What seems to be the problem?
Me: Well, I still feel like I have strep, even though I finished the antibiotics.
Dr: Ok....let's take a look...you don't smoke, right?
Me: Well, yes....er..yes, I do.
Dr: So you just started?
Me: No, but you ask me every time I come in, so it should be in my chart or something.
Dr: Oh, I guess I just assumed you would have taken my advice by now. But assume makes an ass out of u and me, so...mostly you, though. Because you smoke. After I said to quit.
Me: Yeah. :::looks guiltily at feet::: Ok.
Dr: Ok, you'll quit?
Me: Uh...yes. Sure.
Dr: Hmmm....ok, let me see what's wrong with your throat. :::gags me with a tongue depressor::: How long have you been sick?
Me: :::gag::: ooo eeegs
Dr: I'm sorry I didn't catch that.
Me: :::bites his hand::: I said "two weeks".
Dr: Yeah, well, I'm going to have to say that if you quit smoking, your throat should start feeling much better.
Me: I can't.
Dr: You can't? Why?
Mr: For religious reasons.
Dr: You have to smoke because of your religion? What religion, may I ask?
Me: I'm Catholic, but it's in the Ten Commandments.
Dr: There is no commandment that says you have to smoke.
Me: Yes, there is. "Thou shalt not kill."
Dr: So don't you think that could be taken as an exhortation not to smoke?
Me: I suppose. But I think it's disrespectful for me to get all homicidal during the Season of Peace and Love, don't you think? And quitting smoking...I don't know. I just think it's not really the time of year for stabbiness and road rage.
Dr: And quitting smoking....makes you "stabby"?
Me: My smoking habit is the reason you didn't lose any fingers earlier. Just sayin.
Dr: I must still insist that you at least try to cut back.
Me: Done.
Dr: And lose some weight.
Me: Really? That'll help my throat and my stabbiness? Ya think so, Doc?
Dr: No, it will not. It won't cure your smartassery, either, but it's good for you.
Me: You're judgemental.
Dr: No, I'm just concerned for your health.
Me: You're mean.
Dr: :::sigh::: I can't tell you what to do, but...
Me: :::storms out of the room::: :::forgets purse, has to go back and ruin a perfectly good storm-out::: Grinch.
Dr: Smoker.
I hate going to the doctor.
