So...today at church went like this...
Donovan: :::acts like a terror just like every week::: :::tries to bite my hand:::
Me: Don't you dare. I will bite you back, son.
Donovan: NOOOOOOOO Mommy! Don't bite me! Mooooommmmyyyyy......
Me: :::holds his mouth closed and runs outside::: (I didn't even do it!)
Guy Behind Me: :::wonders how I can abuse my child so badly but can't tell exactly what I did:::
Me: Donovan, you can't act like that. That was very bad.
Donovan: Ohhhhhh
I took him back inside. We sit down. He runs away.
I catch him.
Donovan: No...Mama!!! I have to poooooooop!!!!
Guy Behind Me: :::rolls his eyes::: (this poor guy always ends up next to us, and is always completely unimpressed with how cute my kids are and seems to think I should find a better place to put them during mass)
Me: Donovan, don't say poop at mass.
Donovan: :::whispering::: but I have to poop.
Ten minutes later, Donovan is making all kinds of noise and pulling his sisters' hair.
I put my jacket on him backwards with his arms trapped in it, button it behind him and pull the hoodie over his face.
Guy Behind Me is wondering what in the world I am doing to this kid. Other guy behind me (who has a kid) is smirking. Everyone else just thinks I have a large, weird-shaped jacket.
Donovan: :::from behind the hood::: I don't want this onnnnn
Me: Will you be quiet?
Hood of my Jacket: seems to be nodding
So I take off the hood. After a few minutes, I let him out of the jacket. He quickly pulled a page out of a hymnal, yelled that he had to poop, and dropped the kneeler on Madilynn's foot before booking it to the back door.
And so it goes...
