Instead, you get the job post, even though I haven't been paid, and this is the proof of my love for you.
I got a job...it's the perfect kind of job, because it's writing and it's contract, so I am basically employed for about five hours and then I'm done. This is great because I hate being bossed, so after a few hours, I can just quit and it's no big deal at all.
Ok, so I also used the term "writing" a little loosely, because it's re-writing a script for a sales company...I'm really trying to do a good job here, so I hope I can get some feedback here. Let me know what you think I should change.
Hello,
Wait, don't hang up on me! AUGH! Ass.
(Call back)
Hello,
This is (unpronouncable name) from Our Company.
...
No, sir, I didn't call you an ass. There must have been a problem with the phone.
We are holding a flea class in your town to help people with their credit.
...
Free? Sir, I think I said exactly what you think I said. Who would hold a flea class? So I must have said free. Moving right along...we asked over five people and found that 95% of the population has inaccurate information on their credit report, and we can show you how to get that removed.
...
Well, sir, 95% is a lot, so I'm pretty sure that you fit in there, as well. Are you Bill Gates? I thought not, so what I'm trying to say is that you and your family are doomed if you don't let me finish a sentence.
The class is (date), or if you would like us to help you, we can set up an appointment and get started right away.
Which of these would work better for you?
1. If they say the class, take down their information. The class isn't actually real, so if we can get their address, we can stalk them at home until they pay us to go away.
2. If they say they want to get started with our program
• Let me tell you a few things you can change on your credit report with our program:
o We will dispute any inaccurate information on your credit report. No, you cannot write these emails yourself. It's against the law. You must have a trained professional or the IRS will send snipers to your house.
o We work on building the credit you already have. We do this by saying "Keep paying your bills."
o And we work on building new credit, enabling you to get better interest rates, or even purchase a home. We do this by also saying "Keep paying your bills."
• Similar companies just want your money, but not us!
o It is only $100 to get started, and we add an extra zero to the end of that and call our original bid a typo when you're writing your check.
o From there we will work on a payment plan depending on what you can budget and afford. Unless you can't afford us.
o (If, and ONLY if, they ask about specific costs, tell them that the best way we have found to help our customers is by not charging huge upfront fees. We charge $100 to get started, and the usual fee after that is $100 per month. If they continue to ask questions, warn them again about the snipers and tell them you have the IRS on speed dial.)
Thank you for your time. Again, my name is ... and feel free to give us a call at ####### with any questions. (Remember to never give them the entire number...we aren't paying anyone to answer the phones right now.)
