New Priorities

Due to the fact that the last six years have finally caught up with me, I took the weekend off and spent some time reorganizing my life.

I had to fix my priorities...
They are:

1. Don't die.
2. Don't kill anyone else.
3. Don't do stupid shit.

That's as far as I got, because so far, I haven't had time to get to number three since maybe 2004, so until I do, there is absolutely nothing else going on my priority list. Here is a list of things that will go on my list if and when I am ever not overwhelmed with numbers one through two:

Answering my cell phone.
Teaching my kids different things about manners or whatever, how to tie their shoes, and what their middle names are.
Fixing up my house too look all pretty instead of like the place where we live for two hours a day.
Cooking a real dinner.
Planning ahead for anything.
Worrying about who is pissed at me.
Worrying about why they are pissed at me.
Pretty much anything that people think I should be doing, and also I know I should be doing, will be going on the list just as soon as I can freakin handle it, mmkay?

Until then, please refrain from telling me what I should do, or even telling me what would help me get through this, because my schedule is literally crammed up for a long time with not dying.

Here are some rules I have given myself in order to reserve more time for surviving:

1. I will not answer my phone after ten pm. If you want to talk to me, please do it at a decent hour. If I want to talk to you, I will call you whenever it is convenient for me.
2. I will not care who gets mad that they see my post on Facebook after I don't answer my phone.
3. I will not explain past this blog that Facebook helps me fall asleep, but phone calls wake me up.
4. I will not say yes to any social event that I cannot handle.
5. I will learn to say no and not feel like I have to spend hours phrasing the perfect "here's why I can't."
6 . I will print out my daily schedule onto little cards that I can pass out to anyone who wants to bitch at me for anything.
7. I will quit saying everything I think out loud, and will try to keep it all on this very private blog where nobody will ever have to hear about it.