Once upon a time, a long time ago, the King of All the Land decreed that there should be a place for all the people to go and publish every little thought that might cometh into their heads, so his wise men consulted and his princes pondered and the Kingdom finally had a place known as Facebook.
In the Land of Facebook, villagers would come and scribe messages to their friends. The friends would show these messages to other friends, and soon, the entire kingdom could read every message.
The people of Facebook began to cry out saying that they should be allowed to respond to the messages scribed by their friends, so the King made it so.
Then, the people of Facebook began to think that their power to respond granted them the power of thinking just as well as one of the King's consultants, perhaps even the King himself. With this new power to respond, and their imagined powers of thought, the people of Facebook began their super-public-pontification-process (SPPP, or "spuh-puh-puh").
After the structuring of the SPPP, the people of Facebook started to notice that they were not getting as many messages scribed from their friends. When they asked their friends about it, they were blocked from even speaking with them, and found out that they had been put on a blacklist known as "Defriend". The people cried out yet again. Why were they being defriended? Why?
Hearing of this, the King spoke to his people and said, "Many lands are under my rule. Many people travel on these roads and live together in this kingdom. The ancient men will tell you that you should never give unasked for advice. They will tell you that you should never give asked for advice. And they will certainly tell you that when someone says 'I heart coffee', you do not respond with 'OMG!!! Caffeine is BAD...you're gonna DIE'. When someone says 'Can't decide what to wear today', you do not respond with 'GASP! nekkid! You're going to HELL!' When someone says 'my, its a beeyootiful day', you do not respond with 'Learn how to spell or we'll throw you in the dungeon with the other village idiots until you rot, and we'll let the rats eat your bones and your family will be sold into SLAVERY!'
"People of Facebook, if you wouldn't say something in the Land of Church, the Land of PTA Meetings, the Land of Lunch with a Friend, or anywhere else in this kingdom, don't say it in the Land of Facebook!"
At this, the people did what any people in this day and age would do. They each one thought to himself "Yeah, I'm glad he told them!"
