At the store:
Me: Guys, I need you all to behave so I can concentrate on shopping and not forget anything.
Huston: You didn't make a list?
Me: No, I didn't, but thank you so much for the judgement.
Warrick: (quietly to Huston) What's judgement?
Huston: Mommy was being sarcastic, because that's how she rolls.
Warrick: What's sarcastic?
Later, still at the store...
Donovan: I han dis hooooovieeeeee (I want this movie)
Me: No, we already got one.
Donovan: :::screams like Emma:::
Me: Aww...good, this'll be fun to listen to.
Very Tall Man Behind the Movies: HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Glad my kids are all grown! Whenever I hear a kid screaming like that now, I just laaaaugh. And when the grand kids do it, I send 'em home! HAHAHAHA
Me: Oops! Scuse me, mister, I didn't mean to ram your ankles with my cart! :::innocent face::: Kids! Let go of the cart, you just ran into that poor laughing gentleman! :::runs away and hopes the kids follow:::
An hour later, still at the store...
Donovan: :::screaming again:::
Me: What happened to him now?
Huston: I pinched him because he was going to pinch me.
Me: Really? So you're fighting with a three year old? And...you turn how old on Friday? Nine?
Dalton: Don't worry, Huston, Mommy's just be smartastic again.
Me: No, I am always smartastic. I was not, however, being sarcastic...I was serious.
Warrick: Yeah, Huston, she was making the Death Face.
Me: Death Face?
Warrick: Yeah, the one you make where you get real quiet and your eyes pop out and it says "You're going to pay"....my teacher has one, too, only hers says "I'm the teacher, you're the student, so SIT DOWN." Yours is way scarier.
Me: Mine is scarier? Mine doesn't even yell.
Warrick: It's the quiet ones you need to be scared of, though. Plus, you are there when we're sleeping.
Madilynn: When I grow up, I'm gonna' be smartastic like Mommy!
Dalton: When I grow up, I wanna' be just like Daddy and be bipolar!
Emma: Well, when I grow up, I wanna' live at Mommy's house still, only have my own kids!
Huston: When I grow up, I'm not having kids, because I don't want them playing my video games.
Me: WHOA! WTH, yo??? Doesn't even one of you want to be a productive member of society at all? I mean, seriously, Madi, sarcasm is an acceptable lifestyle, but it's not really a life goal. And Dalton, let's go ahead and aim for mentally-well-at-all-costs, mkay? And...omg, I'm speaking in acronyms now, you're all grounded from talking.
Madi: Are acronyms smartastic?
