A Talk With The Lawn Mower

Me: doopty doo...la la la...lawn mowin' time

Lawn Mower: Nah.

Me: C'mon...I'll grab us some beers, we circle the lawn a few time...it'll be fun!

Lawn Mower: Let's don't and say we did.

Me: Or...let's do and make the neighborhood wonder if new people moved in.

Lawn Mower: OR I could sit here in the shed while you go make me a sandwich, woman!

Me: Um, no. My house, my rules. We're mowing the lawn, Lawn Mower. :::puts gas in the tank::: (yes, I did, thanks for asking, little brother) :::pulls the lever-y type thing::: (yup, did that, also.) :::pulls the...uh...stringy thing::: (Ok, I don't know what it's called, but I know what I'm supposed to do with it)

Lawn Mower: Nooooooooo!!!

Me: :::repeats process, remembering to prime it first:::

Lawn Mower: Gah! I can't resist...one little taste of gasoline and I must guzzle more!!! :::springs to life (or whatever you call "starting"):::

Me: :::starts the iPod, opens a beer, mows about two square feet of grass:::

Lawn Mower: Annnd...nevermind. I quit. :::dies:::

Me: Dude! You shook up my beer. And the yard is very big and very tall. We have a lot of work to do.

Lawn Mower: Nah. I'm out, yo. Not so big on the whole "working" thing today. Hey, would you mind giving me a push back into the shed?

Me: No way, buddy, I'm gonna' get this grass cut. :::Googles "how to fix the damn lawn mower::: :::finds all the answers:::

Sky: :::gets dark:::

Me: Ok, Lawn Mower, I've got you now, my pretty. And your little dog, too! Wait, what? Anyway, I Googled your ass, so even though it's too dark to work on you now, I'll be all over you tomorrow. :::laughs maniacally:::

Lawn Mower: Maniacal laughter is so over, yo. It's all about the quiet owning now. Dork.

Me: Doesn't matter, you'll get owned tomorrow, just as soon as I find out what the hell an air filter is and where it might be located on your person. So HA!