Because my third sister has worked my blog into her nightly ritual, and because I'd hate for her to lose sleep, and because she thinks this is my job, and because she doesn't pay me anything at all to do this...this one is for Rochelle...
Why I love smokers... (lol @ Rochelle...but please keep reading!)
I know that smoking is bad for you. It's also bad for me. Also, bad for the world, pretty much. And it probably endangers things, and pollutes things, and pisses people off. So, for allll my readers (all three of you, I know you're out there!) who don't ever comment, and think that today is the day to give me comment-crack, please do so. I was going to ask you not to tell me how unhealthy and un-PC this is, but you know what? Say what you want, because crack is crack, yo.
Smokers are chill. I love chill. Stress = headaches. Chill = smiles. Chill smiles + smoking = smiles that last forever because of the awesome wrinkles you get way too early when you smoke. (Yes, smoking is baaaad.) Who doesn't want a permanent smile? I know I do.
Smokers are also social. I know you think they aren't, because they're always standing away from the crowd, preferring to puff away in silence rather than join the group. They aren't being anti-social, they'll talk to anyone else to wants to join them, as long as that person isn't telling them why they shouldn't smoke. They are actually being nice, because they know the smoke will bother people, so they take it away. So see? Even though they miss out on a lot (smoking is baaaaad), they aren't anti-social at all.
Smokers will do anything for you. If you walk up to a smoker and ask for a cig or a light, they will go to great lengths to get you what you want. If you smoke menthols and they don't, they will offer you one of theirs and also tell you who to ask for a menthol. If their lighter is in their car, they will go fetch it. They will huff and puff all the way there and back (because...smoking is baaaaad), but they'll come back with a lighter.
Smokers are rebels. It takes guts to smoke these days, what with all the cancer, and the people hating you, and also being banned from everywhere. They deal with judgemental looks everywhere they go (again, we know, smoking is bad), and even random strangers telling them how to live their lives, so you know there has to be a little rebel in every smoker. (There is a big rebel in me, but I shut her up with ciggies and beer.) (Also, various drugs and parties and things.) (Also, please don't bad-mommy me, because I'm exaggerating.) (Or maybe I'm not...shut UP, you don't know me.)
So, that's why I like smokers. I sorta' like other people, too. It's a ratio thing, and I can't explain it lest I blow you away with my awesome math skilz.
