During the crazy day I had today, I thought of over 1000 topics for this post. Unfortunately, I forgot all of them. So, because I just moved and had occasion to drag out all my old stuff, I thought maybe I would post for you from fifteen years ago. :::time warp noise:::
...wait, I forgot something...:::time warp back noise::: One of my new favorite blogs, SteamMeUpKid, should get some credit here, as she has posted some of her high school journaling, and even some insanely grown-up stories she wrote at age eight. She's a little less filtered than I, so don't click the link if you don't like that stuff, but if so, check her out, because she's Funny, yo.
:::time warp back again noise::: (the parts in blue are from now...everything else is embarrassingly real)
January 25, 1995
Dear Journal,
...we went skating for my birthday. It was lots of fun. Everybody gave me lots of great stuff (happy birthday to me! I STILL love Great Stuff). I even got a silver ID bracelet with my name on the front...I love it!!!! Jason was really understanding about it (Jason is so nice to allow me to receive a gift on my birthday and be all understanding). I'm really grateful for it, too (not sure if I meant the Great Stuff or the understanding). I suppose I'll have to talk to Braden sometime about the fact that I already have a boyfriend. I guess I'm putting it off because I don't want to hurt him. I do love him...like a brother....
January 26 (the next day, yo)
Dear Journal,
I'm still worried about Braden. The strange thing is, I'm starting to wonder if I really do like Braden more than Jason (Even though he was practically my brother yesterday. I'm sure this had nothing to do with the fact that he gave me something sparkly for my birthday.).....I guess I just need to realize that I'm only fifteen, and that I don't have to make all of my life's decisions right now (Exactly. Only make one or two right now. Fifteen year olds know a LOT, but not everything, sheesh). Maybe I should just wait, but something tells me that I might lose Braden right when I realize that he's "Mr. Right." (Again with the not making decisions right away...I mean, you can't let these fifteen year old boys slip away! You gotta' grab 'em when you get the chance because they're so hard to get! Also, clearly he was Mr. Right...sparkles for the birthday pretty much tell you anything you need to know.)
January 30
Dear Journal,
I have Jason wrapped around my finger (or so it seems). (See how humble?) I would just love for him to get mad at me - and show it (Because, hi, who doesn't want that?) - just to see if he will, so I've devised a plan. (Humble and sadistic...those were my best features.) (Ok, you got me...those are my best features.) On Friday, I bunch of us are going out...and I could work this out with Braden and AJ to flirt a lot (a LOT, not just a little...because, really, I don't even know what flirting is, so a little probably wouldn't show up much.) with them, and for them to completely ignore me. That way Jason would have to be mad, but he couldn't be mad at them. (Brilliant! My other Awesome Feature is brilliantness!) I know this is mean...maybe I will, maybe I won't. (I know, Journal, you're dying of suspense...just hang on, ok?)
January 31
Dear Journal,
Well, I won't. Be mean to Jason, I mean. He's not going on Friday. At least that means I don't have to worry about if I should wear the bracelet from Braden, because Jason won't be there to see it, and it will make Braden happy. So, problem solved. Except we have to dissect frogs that day, so maybe not. (A girl can't have her controversial sparkly things all covered in frog bits.) WAIT!!!! (Seriously, stop reading and just pause for a second, because you're gonna' want to sit down or something for this next part.) I just talked to Jason and he is going. Oh, well.
February 2
Dear Journal,
I'm in big trouble now. I really did it this time. I can't believe it. I fell in love with Braden!!! I'm so mad (sort of). (Yes, so sort of mad is a real emotion, yo...TRY BEING A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL!!!)
February 5
Dear Journal,
...I broke up with Jason. (I'll bet you didn't see this coming...you thought I would torture him with my flirting plans forever, but no...the flirting thing never worked out, because I wasn't any good at it and Jason didn't notice.) I just told him that I wanted to, and he said "OK". My cousin said that I never liked Jason and that I was just goin' with him because he's older and he gave me jewelry (wha....??? Where did my cousin get this idea?). I'm gonna kill him. That is not true. I loved Jason!!!!! (Or at least I thought I did) (Exactly! C'mon...who would question the love a fifteen year old girl will admit to thinking she had, maybe, sort of?) Anyway, It's over, and I'm glad. I feel so free. (bwahahahahaha!!!)
February 16
Dear Journal,
...My dad is about to freak out because he thinks I wanna go out with Braden. (What?!?! Where did he get this idea? That man must be crazy! Silly Dad! LOL!) I do like Braden, but I don't want a boyfriend right now. Probably not for a year. (yup, I'm thinkin' a year sounds good...)
March 20 (did I say a year? I meant a month. Silly typos! or whatever you call them when they're hand written....HA!)
Dear Journal,
Braden asked me to be his girlfriend!!! I'm so happy!!! (Me too!!! I think it's all the exclamation points!!!!!) He called me and we talked for about ten minutes. (I just don't know what to say here, but I feel the need to snark on this whole ten minutes thing...:::says something witty and snarky::: There.)
Braden: I have a question to ask you.
Me: OK
B: It's a really important question.
Me: OK
B: I don't care if you say no. (What? He doesn't care if I say no? Should this have told me something? Nah...)
Me: OK (My vocabulary is amazing, I'm sure this is what attracted Braden in the first place.)
B: Will you be my girlfriend?
Me: Yeah (:::nearly faints from the romance:::)
B: Think about it, I don't care if you say no. I don't want you to feel sorry for me. (Again with the not caring...and throw in a "don't feel sorry for me"...this guy needed me to save him, yo! Look at the poor thing. Nobody wuvs him...he needs me.)
Me: I don't feel sorry for you.
B: Yeah, ri...
Me: Braden! Yes, ok? (I said this just like a movie star would have, too.)
B: Ok, bye.
Me: Bye.
I still can't get over that conversation. (Who could get over this conversation? I probably shouldn't have shared it with you, Internet, because you'll never sleep again what with all the thinking of this conversation.) When I told mom, she got mad, but I love him and no one, not even myself can stop that. (That's what I always say....not even myself, y'all...this was Real Love. I mean, I couldn't stop myself, and neither could my mom, and she's kind of a ninja.)
