I have done everything I can to make sure that Ninja Truck wasn't stolen, but there is something fishy about it for sure. I got calls from both the man selling the truck (who is out of town) and his step-dad wondering if I was going to show up (an hour before I was supposed to be there) and making sure I had cash. Then another call ten minutes before I was supposed to be there wondering the same thing. So I purposely went to Starbucks and made myself ten minutes late just to make them sweat. I did that knowing they probably had some drug deal going down and that's why they needed the cash so fast, but I didn't care because I was annoyed.
Then Nazi Truck Lady yelled out the window at her husband the entire time I was there signing papers and letting her husband count the cash. She wanted to make sure he remembered how much I owed. And what person would remember to actually count the money if their wife wasn't screaming it at them? Because obviously not this guy! So she was just taking care of him, I guess. And she also wanted him to tell me one more time that I ought to pay the full amount her son asked for in the first place. I give this guy credit, I would have jumped off the nearest cliff if I lived with that woman, but apparently they have access to really good weed. Or at least he does and maybe he needs to share with her. And he didn't feel the need to remind me that I was taking advantage of his son, but that was probably more because I could plainly hear her saying it and it didn't need repeating.
So I finally got the title and hopefully everything else I need, and I made sure again that the truck wasn't stolen (but I'm still a little afraid that I'm going to find out differently when I try to tag it). I halfway wished I had gone for faster rather than bigger because I just wanted to get as far away from that place as I could. But luckily, I am still not soup, and neither is Brother, who was kind enough to go with me and make sure nobody got me.
All that being said, I came home to discover that I probably didn't need Ninja Truck after all, because Shucks was on the job...
Shucks: Look! Lookie Lookie Lookie!
Me: What, Shucks?
Shucks: Look what I got you!
Me: Um...that's Dustin's truck. It's been here for two weeks.
Shucks: I know! But I bought it! For you!
Me: You bought it?
Shucks: Yup, it's mine. But I want you to have it.
Me: Shucks, that isn't your truck. It's Dustin's.
Shucks: Nope, look... :::lifts leg...pees on truck::: See? Mine.
Me: Dude, that doesn't make it yours.
Shucks: :::melts to the ground and watches his entire belief system crumble around him::: Not mine...? But...I peed on it. How can this be?
Me: Ok, Shucks, I was kidding. Thank you for the truck, you're the best doggie in the whole world.
Sorry, Dustin, my dog marked your truck. I'm not sure on the legalities here, but I'm pretty sure you just got PWNED by my dog. Or your truck did. Whatevs.
