I went to look at Ninja Truck today. It is being sold by a man who lives far away and has his parents showing it for him. I talked to his mother to make arrangements and I'm pretty sure she is a Nazi.
Is that wrong?
She yelled at me on the phone because I said that I could come any time this afternoon.
Nazi Truck Lady: What time?
Me: Any time after one.
NTL: It's Saturday! What time?
Me: As long as its after one, I can come any time that is good for you.
NTL: Well, you know, it's Saturday, we are very busy and HOW CAN I TELL YOU YES IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME AN EXACT TIME?????
Me: Ok, ummm...two?
NTL: No.
Me: Three?
NTL: No. Two thirty.
Me: Ok, I'll be there at two thirty.
NTL: NO, I CAN'T BE HERE AT TWO THIRTY! HOLD ON!
Me: ....
NTL: My husband will be here, come at two thirty.
Me: Ok, thanks! I'll see you then.
NTL: :::click:::
So I was very glad that I would be dealing with the husband and not the Nazi Lady, and I took my brother with me because I didn't want to be serially murdered by the husband, either.
The husband started to get in the back seat of the car to let us drive around a bit, and Nazi Lady came running outside. He rolled down the window and told her what he was doing and she just glared at him from the front porch. Maybe she thought we were the serial killers, but I think she was planning up a delicious MannyRee and Brother soup.
We rode around the block, and then did all that car-looking stuff like kick the tires, stare intently at the engine as if it will explode in a minute as a warning not to buy the car, and chat with the guy about mechanics and blah, blah, blah...
I told my brother I wanted the truck, but he told me it was leaking oil.
Here's the math. Say I have one hundred dollars to spend on a car, and I was willing to buy this car for that amount with only a couple needed repairs. Then I find out that it's leaking oil, which the owner failed to tell me about when he listed the other problems. So I offer seventy five dollars on the car, and plan to spend the other twenty five on repairing the car.
I called the Nazi Lady this evening...
Me: Hi, this is MannyRee, the one who looked at the car today.
NTL: Um, you looked at a car? So what?
Me: Well, I wanted to make an offer.
NTL: What? What do you....hold on. :::yells things at her husband:::
Me: ...
Then the husband gets on the phone.
Me: Hi. Ok, here's what I got for ya. There were a few things wrong with the truck that your son told me about, and also an oil leak that he didn't. I am not trying to low-ball you, but do you think he would take seventy-five dollars for the truck, because all I own in the world is one hundred, and if I spend all of it on the truck, I can't pay for repairs.
Nazi Husband: (he's not a Nazi, though, just married one) Oh, seventy-five?...
:::NTL screaming in the background:::: NOOOOOOOO!!!!! Those are NEW TIRES!!!!!
Husband: ...um..yeah, it's new tires..
NTL: NOOOOO!!!! VERY LOW! I'LL KILL YOU! HANG UP
Husband: Yes, well, you see, my son has put ...hold on
NTL: TELL HER NO! TELL HER NO! TELL HER NO!!!!! ARE YOU SLEEPING WITH HER??? SHE'S TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOU!!!! HANG UUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!
Husband: ...um, yes, as I was saying...new tires.
NTL: DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH WORK HE'S PUT INTO THAT??? HANG UP! THAT'S VERY LOW! HE'S NOT TAKING SEVENTY FIVE!!!
Husband: ...yes, he's put a lot of work into that. How bout I give him a call and ask him, since it's his car (I think he was looking at his wife at this point, because he said it very pointedly and I was too busy Googling "how to not become Nazi Soup" to say anything).
NTL: NO! I SAID NO! YOU WON'T CALL...TELL HER NO.
Me: Ok, just let me know. Thanks so much and please don't let your wife kill me.
NTL: NOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Husband: :::click:::
I'm pretty sure that the husband is soup now, and nobody is going to be calling the son with my offer.
