Today was another Epic Trip to Walmart, and even though my sister kept five of my kids for me, it was still a little nuts.
It took forever, but I didn't forget anything (I hope), so that's a win.
I had the cart completely organized so I could fit everything, and even then things were falling out of it. So, I went to check out and people always look at me weird and I don't really know why. I think they are trying to decide if they can beat me to the spot in line and not have to wait on me.
I try not to stand in line with "manly men" most of the time, because they seem to feel obligated to either let me go first (which makes me feel bad), or look at me like I'm nuts and tell me how they're glad they don't have kids or something, which, rude! But there were two "manly men" in one line who only had a couple things and it was the shortest line, so I had to go stand behind them.
They were younger and I didn't think there was too much of a chance they would talk to me at all, which was exactly what I wanted. I waited for them to find the little divider stick so I could start trying to fit all the stuff on the belt, and noticed that they were buying two single packs of Ramen noodles..you know the kind that you just add water in the little bowl and heat it up? So I kind of laughed a little because seriously? Walmart has all kinds of easy food and that's about two bucks worth of dinner that just seemed kind of weird. And also, do guys usually go to Walmart for a quick dinner like that and then get the same thing? I don't know, it was weird, you'll just have to trust me.
In front of the Ramen, there was a box of something. I desperately wanted to know what these two men were buying to go along with their Ramen. I had to know. I tried to see the box from behind my cart, but the Ramen bowls were covering it...I had to do a little undercover recon, so I got a couple things out of my cart and tried to put them as close to the box as I could and get a good look at it.
It didn't work.
So I gave up on being covert and just stared at the box until the cashier lifted it up. It was a multi-pack of Thomas Kinkade puzzles. I kid you not. That's what the dudes were buying, the dudes I didn't want to be in line with in case they were too macho or something. Tiny bowls of Ramen and a giant box of puzzles. Yep.
What's really sad about this is that I was jealous. I wanna go to Walmart just to get two bites of food and puzzles with my...um...friend. Only if it were me, there would be chocolate somewhere and we'd just skip dinner and drink wine instead, and rather than puzzles, it would be Something Awesome And Way More Fun Than Puzzles. But still...I was coveting their shopping cart...or rather their lack of need of a cart, and their simple plan of Ramen and Puzzles. I came home to two hours of putting groceries away, a very late dinner, six people to bathe, eight loads of laundry and an hour per kid of homework...and not a manly man in sight, yo.
After the guys went to play puzzles and I spent forever trying to put all of my stuff back into my cart, I was just getting ready to put everything in my car when I was attacked. By a gang. Of teens. They were girls. Two of them came up behind me and scared me, then five more jumped out of the car and surrounded me. They took all the groceries out of my cart, threw paper at me, then jumped back in their car and sped off.
Only not really, because they actually put all my groceries into my van, gave me a card that said "You've just been hit with a random act of kindness", and then sped away. But I really thought they were going to hurt me at first. Or at least steal my pizza rolls, and then it would have been on. Isn't that nice? It made me want to go help someone else with their groceries...or possibly kidnap the youth group and make them work at my house. Either helping others or kidnapping, though, for sure...sorta like the Christmas spirit only it's November.
Moral of the story? There isn't one. Don't kidnap youth groups, DO let them put your groceries away. And if you have a special someone, don't take puzzles and Ramen for granted.
