To Whom it May Concern (probably nobody):
I have been dealing with you for quite a few years, now. I believe the two of us have reached an impasse and should part ways. However, this is impossible until I am able to build my windmill and solar panels. Therefore, I am writing to you to address some of the issues we have had in the past. I realize that you do not care that I am unhappy with you as I have less of a chance of leaving this relationship than I do of remembering to pay my bill on time. But lets face it, neither one of those things is going to happen.
I realize that I forgot to pay you, even after you sent me the notice on the pretty colored paper. I had to put cash into my account so that I could call a payment in, but the problem lies in the fact that I also had to take all six of my children to the grocery store that same day. This lasted from the minute school got out that afternoon until after my kids' bedtime that evening, which meant that dinner and homework were done around midnight and the kids finally fell asleep just as our alarms were going off the next morning. Somehow, in all of this shuffle, I forgot to give you a call. I sincerely apologize.
When I came home yesterday ten minutes before your offices closed to find my power out, I was not impressed. I had just been listening to the weather man say that the temperatures would be in the twenties over night, and there was no way I could keep all the kids warm in that house with no power. Yet, still, I know I am to blame because I did forget to call you.
I just have one question. You see, over the last few years, due to my inability to pay you on time, you have cut off my power numerous times to demand more of a deposit. You are currently in possession of over two thousand of my dollars. Dollars that could buy me a truck so that I have something to drive every day, but instead, are sitting in your pocket earning me one dollar a month in interest. While I appreciate you storing my dollars for me, I would like them back before you cut off my power again, please. It doesn't make sense to me that you can cut the power when my bill is just over one hundred dollars. Essentially, you own me two thousand dollars, and I'm the one crammed into a hotel room with six screaming children. Somehow, this doesn't seem fair.
Does this have to do with the time I flipped you off for cutting my power and then telling me you were too far away (ten feet from my house) to turn it back on again? Because I thought we were over that after I sent you another five hundred dollars to add to my deposit. But if that is why you hate me, please tell me what I can do about it. Feel free to come to my house and I will point all my other fingers at you until the one finger is cancelled out. Maybe you would like to come over for Thanksgiving or Christmas? We could be like family. Only, half the time, I don't have electricity for those holidays, either, because hell, it's a stressful time and rife with opportunities for forgetting to pay you.
That brings me to my final issue, and frankly, the only fault I will admit to having where you are concerned. I just can't bring myself to pay you on time. I don't have a problem paying my other bills, it's only you, Electric Company. And it's because I don't like you. If I had a million dollars in my account and a check all written out in a stamped envelope sitting right in my lap as I went to the mailbox, I wouldn't put it in. Because I have a mental block when it comes to paying you and I'm pretty sure it's because of the things you have put me through over the years.
So in order to work toward a better relationship with you, because I just don't see a way to move on to greener pastures, I propose the following:
1. I will go to therapy and try to work past my electricity issues so that I can actually pay you on time.
2. You don't turn off my power until I am the one who owes you money and not the other way around. OR, you can just send me all but five hundred dollars of my deposit back and I can promise you I can find a good use for it.
Thank you, I look forward to a better future for both of us.
MannyRee
