Responsed.

The ensuing correspondence, following yesterday's email:

Electric Company:

"If you would respond to this email with your account number and the last four digits of your social security number, we would be happy to look into this for you."


Me:

"Account number: ###########-#

Social Security: ####

I am fairly certain the words "non account specific" (which was the heading under which I sent my email, because it was the only one that didn't require my account number) mean that you don't need my account information to read my correspondence. Please don't cut off my power because I am a smartass...I'm pretty sure that smartasses get electricity, too. It's in the Constitution. I think."



Electric Company:

"Actually, 'non account specific' refers to inquiries that relate to general, non-electric service issues...to discuss your account information, such as deposits, we need to verify who we are speaking with...

The deposit held on your account is $635.00

:::An entire statement of my account history, followed with an explanation of different bill paying options:::

In any event, we do show a credit balance on the account, and would note that there is at this time no danger of disconnect whatsoever. (We would note that smartassery of any sort has no bearing on disconnect of service, for which more than a few of us around here, your humble correspondent included, are deeply grateful. We also understand that having service cut off for any reason is a highly stressful situation, and kept that in mind.)
With regards,
Electric Company

Me:

Thank you for the information. Perhaps it is Gas Company who has two thousand of my dollars.
I apologize for my incorrectness, I can assure you it doesn't happen often.
Thank you for not cutting me off due to smartassery, and also for my new favorite word, which is smartassery. It will be used often and well.
In humble apologies and sincere earnestness in paying my future bills on time,
MannyRee