My inner girlie girl found me today. That happens when I sit still, she catches up to me. I was at church, and she gets me there a lot...that's one full hour she knows I'm not going anywhere.
I was trying very hard to ignore her and it was taking all of my focus, but my very nice baby brother (who probably saw that the girl was bothering me) offered to take Donovan, who was being a giant pain in the bootay, and it distracted me just enough that she caught me.
Yep, you guessed it...she made me cry. And it wasn't the nice pretty tearing up kind of crying, either, like the movie stars do. It was the sobbing, gasping, messy kind of crying.
So, I did the Right Thing and ran out of the church to find a less conspicuous place to banish the girl. On the way, I tried not to look at anyone and I knocked over some guy...since I wasn't looking, I'm not sure who it was. I hope he and the baby he was carrying were ok, but I never figured out who it was.
He's lucky though, because all I could see of him was a crisp white dress shirt, and it was a tad tempting to use it as a tear sopper, but since I was refusing to look at anyone and therefore didn't know if he was a serial killer or not, I didn't do it.
I was trying really hard not to lose it on the way down the hall, but I didn't quite make it, and did that omg-I-SUCK-at-trying-not-to-cry snort, and inhaled my gum. This, my friends, is why you're not allowed to chew gum at church. Something was telling me to spit it out, but Donovan was being so bad that I forgot. So that's what I get. Now, if I breathe too deep, I feel bubbles in my lungs. I'm sure that's nothing to worry about...totally fine, lung bubbles. They're awesome.
I went to the bathroom and tried to chill a little, and noticed that my face was the same color as the bright red sweatshirt I had on, which, at this point, can you tell that I wasn't at all ready to go to church today? Well, I wasn't, which means I wasn't wearing makeup either, and that's a bonus if your emotions decide to explode on you with no warning.
And now people are asking me what's wrong, and I have the best story of all for them: Uh...I don't really know. I just lost it a little. Ok, a lot. But I'm not sure why. Because I try to deny the fact that sometimes feelings don't just go away...I don't know.
Moral of the story, folks:
1. Don't chew gum in church
2. Remember to get dressed for church
3. Lung bubbles are full of the Awesome
4. Never wear makeup
5. Emotions are assholes, yo
