Ok, so in the last few days:
Salute the troops? Check.
Bitch about the ex? Check. (and check, check, check.)
Talked about housework? Check.
Mommy blogging? Check.
Funny, inspiring, awe-inducing and interesting? eh...four out of five isn't bad.
Some day, I will get some sleep, and no drama will happen for an entire day, and I'll get to go outside and remember what the sun is, and my house will be clean, and my kids will behave, and then, oh Interwebz, I will be so funny that day.
In the meantime, you get this:
A Letter to You, Oh Internet
Dear Internet(s),
I never thought I would fall for a younger man (again). )You are a man, right? I'm just assuming because I found porn under your mattress, and also you have no manners.) (If you're not a man, we need to talk...maybe not a deal breaker, because I think having a wife would kick ass, but still, there's the porn and all the match-making sites which make me wonder if you would be a faithful husband/wife/hermaphrodite/partner at all...)
I am amazed at how much I care for you, in spite of your awful spelling and your incorrect usage of there, their and they're. Many times, I have no idea what you are trying to say, and your lack of capitalization and punctuation make me vaguely sick, which may be the feeling I am confusing for love, because really, isn't it all the same? Or maybe I'm pregnant. Hold on....
Ok, not pregnant, so I think it's love. Or the flu. Or the grammar thing.
I'm glad you're always there for me with your hulu and your facebook and your trolls and your emails. Also your news and your full-time honesty and your Google and Wikipedia...you have so much to offer for the people who never leave their mom's basement and sit there all day blogging and thinking up the best serial killer plans and taking over the world which is NOT ME (ahem) because I have a life, and also I have kids and I'm too busy because if I took over the world, my kids would break it and everyone would be mad at me. But for those other people, yeah, you're pretty cool.
I'm glad I wrote this, because I am starting to realize that I don't actually have anything good to say about you Internet. I think you must not be the gender-neutral "one" for me after all.
It's ok, though. So we won't get married, no big deal. I'm too busy for that, and also? I'm in love with someone else. Yes, it just happened between the last paragraph and this one. So peace out, Internets.
We'll always have the memories
MannyRee
