Hence the following conversation:
Me: Ooo lookie, Shucks! This will be perfect for you while we're at school.
Shucks: What? It's water, what's so special about that?
Me: It dispenses the water, Shucks.
Shucks: oooo-kay.
:::neighbor's dog comes up and drinks a bunch of the water:::
Shucks: :::DEATH BARK::: :::pees himself a little::: :::hides behind the porch railing:::
Me: What's wrong, Shucksie?
Shucks: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! It tried to eeeeat me, it tried to eeeeeat me! Make it go away!
Me: What are you talking about? It's just water.
Shucks: Angel (the neighbor's dog) took a sip, and it growled at her. I heard it. And it made these weird bubbly things in its belly. Please take it away. I don't need water. I'll be fine.
Me: Growled? The water growled at you? Really, Shucks? Really?
Shucks: No, smart ass, the dispenser growled at me.
Me: Um...I don't think so, dude.
Shucks: :::death bark::: stand back, I'm gonna' take care of this.
Me: You're hurting my ears.
Shucks: Ok, fine, just watch for a second, it'll growl again.
Me: ...
Shucks: :::watches patiently::: :::Death Bark, just in case:::
Me: :::taps foot:::
Water Dispenser: :::drips a little water from the foot-tapping and then bubbles/gurgles as more water is dispensed:::
Shucks: Noooooooo...stop the tapping!!! It's gonna' get you, and I have to tell you, I'm not going to save your sorry butt, because I warned you. As soon as I chew through this rope, I'm outta' here, and you can deal with the dispenser monster all alone.
Me: :::explains the gurgling using extremely technical terms, and fully disproves the monster-ness of the dispenser, sounding highly intelligent and looking amazing at the same time:::
Shucks: Both your beauty and intelligence are wasted on me, woman. I'm not going near that thing.
----------------------------------------------
Three days later:
Shucks: :::gasps::: water! I need water!
Me: It's right there, being dispensed, yo. Go have some.
Shucks: Fine. You win. But if I get eaten, I will come back to haunt you.
Me: Done. But if you try to haunt me, I'll sic the toilet on you.
