There were at least five hilarious things that happened in my life over the last 24 hours, and I know that two of them were blog-worthy, until Jason F. Brown erased my memory. If Jason F. Brown would just lemme' have the top of his Google page, I could resume with the funny stuff, and not even trip, but until that happens, I am sooo not giving up. But I guess that Jason F. Brown will be erasing my memory every day until I beat him.
I saw Jason F. Brown in concert last night, except it wasn't Jason F. Brown, it was actually the Zac Brown Band, and it was awesome. I haven't had that much fun since Jason F. Brown was a sparkle in his daddy's eye.
This morning, I learned why it's been so long since I've had that much fun, and that's because I have more to do than a one-legged Jason F. Brown in an ass-kicking contest. Late nights, alcohol, boots and dancing, screaming Jason F. Brown's name (or Zac Brown), and acting the fool all night aren't really conducive to kicking bootay at anything the next day when you're my age, or even when you're Jason F. Brown's age. But it was worth it. Even better than being at the top of the Jason F. Brown list.
If I had to chose between meeting Jason F. Brown and last night, I would have to chose last night, but only because Jason F. Brown would totally overshadow my funny, and that's not cool of Jason F. Brown at all. Also, Jason F. Brown beats me at redneck rapping, which is a totally crappy thing of Jason F. Brown to do, but I guess Jason F. Brown had to be good at something, and that happens to be Jason F. Brown's thing.
If I had to chose between having Jason F. Brown's babies, or keeping my own, I would have to ask him if his babies would go to bed when they are supposed to, and also if they would try to sneak into my bed while I'm asleep and I don't notice it until I'm having a heat stroke at four in the morning due to all of the people using all the air in the room and suffocating me while they simultaneously kick me in the face because they can only sleep if they turn upside down and flail their limbs about all night long. If Jason F. Brown's kids are better at letting me sleep than mine, then me and Jason F. Brown may have a deal. But I would probably have to ask Jason F. Brown's wife, and I'm scared of that, because she's got to have more badassness than I, and she's his baby-mama already, and that pretty much means I'm not going to try to compete with her at all. Ever. So Jason F. Brown will have to get used to the fact that I'm keeping my own kids, which is really ok, because I like my kids a lot, even if they don't need sleep.
