Went to the state fair today. The "theme" this year was State of a Fair. Which, when you think about it, fits just perfectly, because that is the best thing I can say about it this year.
First of all, when you get there you have to park, so they have these guys in orange vests holding orange flags telling you where to go. I'm sure this sounded like a good idea when some one thought of it, but here's the thing...it sucks.
For one thing, they are in charge of telling you where to go, only they don't know where you want to go. They think they should just shuffle you to the parking spot that best suits their needs, but I usually don't want to go there. First, I want to pick the lot in which I park, because if I don't, I get lost after I drink beer, and I need it to be the same lot every year. Also, I had another point, but I forget more stuff after I drink the other beers.
Then, the flags are just idiotic. Is there an international flag code that I don't know? What does it mean when they spin it in circles? I always thought that was color guard, but I guess there's a point to it with the parking dudes, because they do that a lot, and get mad at you when you don't obey them. Or what if they move it up and down like the soldiers from Wizard of Oz and start singing "Oh, we love the old one"? What is my car supposed to be doing at that point? Because I was waiting for flying monkeys to pick it up and park me somewhere, but they didn't and the guy just yelled at me.
And that brings up another point. These guys probably get paid minimum wage (or lower? Because they always look like the fair just hired whoever happened to be standing on the corner that day), and probably have very little training past flag school, but they are the Kings of the World. If you don't obey their flag-symbols, they use The Force to roll down your window and then they berate you in front of the whole fair until you just wanna' go home and crawl into bed and cry.
When we left, I had forgotten where I parked, so my sister drove me around and got bossed by the flag Nazis until she finally started ignoring them and just got us lost by her own self. Except for the part where it's not really true, because what really happened is I remembered exactly where I parked up until the beer. Then I got us lost trying to find my car. Everything else was her fault, though, because she's pregnant out to here, so obviously, she's a little crazy just for being at the fair in the first place.
