So, Jason F. Brown, I am number TWO! And I don't mean poop. I mean in the Google search, right behind the stupid producer. Hollywood always wins, and I think the producer should be number two (the poop kind), because if I could decide how things go, that's what I would do is turn someone to poop over Google wars, and also I would invent fairies that clean my house to cancel out the invisible people who mess it up, and probably require french fries every day with cheese and bacon and ranch and that would pretty much be all the decisions I would need to make because, really, what's not perfect about this?
I am not going to talk about anything on this list:
Jason F. Brown
Poop
DHS
school
The Ex from hail
So that leaves only one subject...my smartass kid.
My daughter is a total smart alec. I blame the parents. Oh, no...not her parents. Mine. Because I remember when I was younger and I heard my parents muttering something about waiting until I have a daughter and they would just laugh....only now do I realize they were cursing me.
A conversation with Madilynn:
Me: You are grounded because you went to the neighbors' yesterday when I told you to stay home until your chores were done.
Madi: I'm grounded?
Me: Yes
Madi: What does that even mean?
Me: You know what it means -- no going anywhere, no TV, no computer
Madi: I'm not sure I went to the neighbors'.
Me: Yes, you did.
Madi: Wellll...I'm not sure you told me not to.
Me: Yes, I did.
Madi: Oh. I'm not sure I heard you.
Me: Yes, you did.
Madi: Oh. Well....was it Don't Listen to Mommy Day?
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Here's a conversation with my other daughter, Emma:
Me: Guys, I need you to get your homework done right after dinner.
Emma: No, Mama-Stupid.
Me: Excuse me?
Emma: No, Mama-Stupid.
Me: You are not to call me that.
Emma: Ok, Mama-Stupid
Me: Go to your room. We don't say stupid.
Emma: Donovan says stupid, Mama-Stupid.
Me: Nobody knows what Donovan's saying ever...don't tell me he says that. Go to your room.
Emma: Yes he does, Mama-Stupid.
Me: ::::screaming:::: :::pulling my hair out::::
Donovan: NO, Mama-Stupid!!!!
Emma: See? Mama-....
Me: :::interrupts::: Emma, don't you dare.
Emma: ...Cutie...I was saying Mama-Cutie! Do I still have to go to my room Mama-Cutie?
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So, like I said, my parents really need to do something about this.
